Written for Steemit.com
By Maruf Lawal
14th March.2018
When going after the truth, you cannot tell in advance that such truth would be what you would like it to be.
Most of us are driven to be right, we are driven to be proved right in a conversation, driven to come out on top in a game, motivated by the desire to be right. No one I know wants to be at that other side, (expect when a father or mother is playing a game with the child). The amount of emotion we invest in being right can sometimes lead to delusion (getting caught up in your own brain), meaning we have to be right at all cost, and we start to think in the defensive (I can't allow him/her to beat me on this issue, not this time, not again).
Ego has been defined as your subliminal defense system/mechanics that makes it hard for you to accept your weaknesses and your mistakes. This implies that the position above can be taken without your conscious participation, instead you just find yourself being dragged through the proverbial "rabbit hole", as your take on the position becomes stronger emotionally and less in logic and reasoning.
There is no doubt that when we undertake any endeavor we go in to get it right, every ambitious person is fully focused on making progress (and that involves making right decisions), but the big question is does being right actually means the right answer must come from you? Frankly speaking I want to be right, but I don't care if the right answer comes from me as a person.
I was asked recently by a friend about what it means to be open-minded, since most of our discussions ends up with me reinforcing the statement "strong opinion weakly held", which in that case can simply be interpreted as follows "when it all appears crystal clear, and you think that you are absolutely sure of your position, remind yourself that you are not absolutely sure, and give someone else an opportunity to stress-test your view on the subject matter objectively".
Open-mindedness is the ability to objectively consider other people's view point of a subject matter, and allow knowledgeable people to stress test your own view point as well. Being open minded doesn't imply your lack of original view point, or a dogmatic acceptance of other people's view, it is simply a process of ensuring that both your ego and your blind spots are well taken care of in your decision-making process, as they represent the two biggest barriers to good decision making.
So, if open-mindedness is so useful to good decision making and significantly increases the probability of being right, why is it so difficult to incorporate in our decision-making process? Why do we take the route of emotional investment instead? Even during a conversion when we have come to a realization we are obviously on the wrong side, it can become very difficult to back off and accept the other side's view point.
Man, by nature is a social animal whose inclination is to be in the company of others, and be respected and accepted as part of a community. In a society so toxic as the current, where outcomes are secondary to optics, where there is a lot of emphasis on being the start man with the plaudits, being the man with the answer, the man that speaks while other people listen. There is therefore a lot of pressure on everyone to be that star person. This is what many see as the pathway to that acceptability and respect so craved by that animalistic instinct of man.
During that moment you are unwilling to share the limelight, it's no longer an issues of correctness, it's all about the optics, it's all about what people feel about me right now, because at that point the ego has taken hold, also the fear of viewed as intellectually weak and incompetent is now at the top of your priority, and you probably have entered a state of limbic hijack, where you are completely locked up in your own brain due to fear of perception. And the bad part is all of this can be a subliminal.
How do I ensure I am always right (to the limit of available knowledge and reality) without getting into the cycle detailed above? The most important thing is accepting the reality of my limitation, knowing and accepting what I don't know, and also understanding that the quality of man's mind is not just a function of the answers provided by it, but more importantly it's measured by the quality of the questions asked. Therefore, feel free to ask questions and let knowledgeable people stress test your opinion of what you think you know.
Finally stay focused on the objective, which is I Want To Be Right but I don't care if the right answer comes from me.
