Over the years I've read a dozen self-help books, watched more videos that I can remember and read probably hundreds of articles about how to become a better person, how to become more productive, and how to achieve more.
I cannot say that all this material about self help didn't do anything for me. I learned a lot, and I discovered strategies that I use even today to be more productive, more efficient and to learn and evolve every day. For example, yesterday I made a decision - to install Linux as my secondary OS on my main PC in order to both learn new things and to remove some of the distractions that Windows gives me. I'll talk more about this topic once I spend at least a few more days with Pop!_OS, the distribution I chose.
That decision was made based on a lot of things I've read about distractions and how bad they are when it comes to productivity, even if we don't realize it, and how much more we can achieve if we can get rid of anything that can get our attention so we can solely focus on our work. That, plus the desire to multitask all the time made me install a new operating system alongside Windows that I will use mainly for work and learning, while Windows will be reserved for media content (creation and consumption) and gaming.
This is only one of the things I did throughout time that was a result of me studying and learning about self-help methods, at least those focused on being more productive and efficient. And while I encourage everyone who wants to improve to read about that topic, there are things you need to keep in mind before you see any significant results.
First, reading self-help books, articles, and watching videos on YouTube about how to become better will not help you change anything. This is quite obvious, but it's something you must constantly remind yourself of. Even if you feel like you're making progress because you're watching a 40 minute video on how to be better, you're actually not.
You must learn to combine what you learn with taking action, and that will require some effort. Whatever it is that you do regarding work and productivity, should be accompanied by active reflection and analysis using what you've learned from all the self-help material you consumed.
For example, get a journal and reflect on your days and the things you did. Analyze the thoughts you had throughout the day and what motivated you to work or what demotivated you and made you go back to playing some video games. Based on all that, come up with strategies that could help you get better. Use the Pomodoro technique to get the most out of your time without getting exhausted or burned out while learning or working. Ask for feedback on your work in order to get to the desired result faster, instead of trying to guess what must be done and figure everything out yourself. Meditate, if that's one thing that you've learned from a self-help book that you think might help.
Whatever it is, you must combine all those methods that you've read about and seen in videos with actual action. Otherwise, you do nothing but consume content to make yourself feel like you're making progress when you're actually just wasting time.
Second, you need to get to know yourself and figure out what works for you and what doesn't. One of the worst things you can do when it comes to self-help material is to take everything that the author said and apply it to your life religiously as if that's the only way in which you can achieve success.
What works for someone won't necessarily work for you and that's something you need to learn quickly. There are things that you'll see online that are supposed to help you but will only get in your way simply because you're different than the author.
For example, waking up at 5 in the morning. You can see hundreds of people online talk about how great that is and how productive they are simply because they woke up so early. But you can also find a lot of people online talking about how they tried waking up at 5 in the morning and the experience was horrible and resulted in a decrease in productivity.
Another example might be working out. I've seen people talk about how working out early in the morning works great for them, especially if they don't eat anything before. However, if I make too much effort in the morning without eating first, I will get dizzy and feel sick and exhausted for the rest of the day.
Everyone is different, so my or someone else's methods and strategies might not fit you and your lifestyle. That is why you need to experiment a lot and figure out what works for you and then pick whatever you think might help you be more productive or happier from the things you've read or discovered online so far and only then things might start to be better.
The examples can keep going regarding any sub topic related to self-help. All the advice you get about being independent and starting your own business to have more free time and more control over your finances? Yeah, well, that's great and all, but it isn't for everyone. Working for yourself can require a lot of effort and can be extremely stressful. Some people are happier having normal jobs. Working in groups in order to maximize cooperation and the generation of ideas? Some people work better alone than in a team. Always using plans for your projects or personal goals? Maybe you work better without them.
You need to figure out what works and what doesn't for you, and this involves a lot of trial and error. It takes time to get to the best version of yourself and even when you get there, things might still require change in the future.
I've seen people talk about self-help books or videos as if they are some kind of magic that will help them fix their life. "I'm reading an amazing book about how to improve my life by eating healthy". Then you see them eat a hamburger the next day because it's easier than cooking and cheaper. "I'm watching this video about waking up at 5 in the morning, and how it will help me be more productive!" Then you see them depressed because they can't hang out with their friends any more since they have to be in bed by 10 PM to get 7 to 8 hours of sleep.
The idea of "self-help", of helping yourself, is to fix your life and to make it better by using different methods tried by others. But, in order to get there, you need to actually do those things first, not only read about them as if that will do anything, and to learn what works and what doesn't in order to let go of the things that only waste your time.
Fixing your life can be really hard. It takes time and effort, and above all, action. One of the reasons self-help material has been getting such a bad reputation lately is because a lot of people think it doesn't work. Well, it doesn't, and it never will, if you don't do what must be done.