It's an interesting topic to think about.
We've been told times and again in the past few decades that you need to create your own life purpose. But we've also been told many times that life should be lived and appreciated for what it is and that we're wasting it by constantly chasing material things such as money, cars, houses, pleasures, and so on.
And yet, for a lot of people, me included, it's in those moments in which we have no goal to work towards, nothing we wish to achieve, nothing to strive for and nothing to keep us busy and focused, that all the enjoyment that we get out of life simply fades away, and we are stuck with depressive episodes, anger issues and a state of desperate boredom.
This idea that life should be experienced for what it is and goals or achievements shouldn't be the only reason you're enjoying life makes it even harder to realize when things start going downhill. It makes me overlook what a lack of goal does to me and just how unpleasant everything becomes when I spend my days trying to find mindless activities that just make enduring life and the passing of time easier.
When I think of my younger self and how happy I was at certain times, I cannot help but associate that happiness with the objectives that I had and how excited I was to work towards them. I remember how happy I was at 14 while I was learning to use Photoshop to work on great works of art. I remember how happy I was at 16 when I started working on my old YouTube channel hoping to make money with it one day. I remember how happy I was at 18 when I started learning web design and development hoping to one day get a job in that area and create websites for people or companies.
To an extent, I both failed and succeeded at everything I tried to do. Sure, I didn't become the best in any area, nor did I create anything that went viral, but I went from not knowing anything about design, video editing or coding, to being capable enough to use each tool I learned to improve my life one way or another or work on other projects using the knowledge I gained.
The fact that I do not remember many other moments in my life, or that I do not classify them as "interesting" is also to be noted. I do not think that those years that I spent playing Metin 2 with friends back when that game was very popular in Romania are worth remembering as a very important part of my life. Nor do I think that all the time I spent and still spend playing League of Legends should be something that I write down in a journal to be remembered in 20 years.
I'm not saying I regret spending so much time playing games, reading books, watching movies or TV shows. I am who I am today because of all those things. I learned more from games than from most people around me, and I became more curious about life because of all the books and movies and shows that I watched.
But nothing compares to all the memories I have of working towards something specific, of trying to accomplish my goals and to make my dreams come true. It wasn't necessarily the work itself that I remember, but the excitement I felt at the thought that I was moving forward and that I was moving towards something bigger than me.
I get nostalgic whenever I think of all that, sometimes not realizing that the only reason why I don't feel the same way today is because I don't always have those type of goals in mind. When I do finally realize it and I find something worthy of my time and effort, life becomes a little better and I become much happier.
So here's an idea for those of you who might be stuck in a miserable loop of boredom and lack of motivation - try to find a worthy goal to work towards, something that you really want, and try to find interesting ways of achieving it. I think both aspects have to be taken into consideration. You can find a goal worth trying to achieve, but you choose a path so boring that it makes the goal seem less interesting. Or you can find a boring goal but with an interesting way of achieving it, which might also not be something that satisfies you. So try to think of a way to find both an interesting goal and an interesting way of achieving it.
Then life might become a little easier to bear and time will start to go by faster. And you might be happy again, until you achieve your goal or until you find a new one.
