Life can be so rugged.
Life can be ruff.
At times I feel like I cry my eyes out cause it's so tuff I make myself belive I can't do shit other than have a puff.
Distract myself so that I loose contact with myself. Do anything to escape being real with myself. Do anything other than sit still, and feel, and be true to myself.
But I can. And I will. And I do.
Cause I can not allow myself to keep running away from myself every single time.
All the time...
What am I running away from? What do I feel so intensely that I want to keep on running? One foot in front of the other, day after day, just keep those feelings away.
At any cost, and you know sometimes I feel so lost and so dark, it's like the darkness consumes me, and I think of my life to be like the horrors of the Holocaust. Not that it is of course...
So I escape and I avoid the I.
I exchange my higher I and the third eye for a big lie. And I run fast even though I know that it won't last, for long. But I'm strong. And most of the time I do know what is right what is wrong, what is good and what is bad, for me, and for my soul. To really grow and nurture myself so that I feel kinda whole. But sometimes it's so easy not to.
Now I really resent the thought of keep on running down that road.
But here I go.
Again.
