They say strive for more— quite some fancy words to cling on until you realise you’re battling against your shadow that is never to be defeated on a fair battlefield. There’s a riddle.
What is long and black and never sleeps?
Answer if you know without looking into the web.
Anyway, no battlefield has ever been fair; it always preys on the weak. That being said, no hard feelings if you win or lose— but people who have a bottomless jar of desire, never win; the battle is lost even before it starts. Satisfaction comes by quenching your thirst for the most needed, not the other way around. Keep pursuing, and you might attend beyond your expectation, it happens— but without muzzling them right in time, greed overpowers the good in you. You just become another skeleton in flesh struggling to clarify what is it that you want.
It’s like shadowing a desire with another. Continuously marching on a loop. And eventually, replacing motivation with depression.
There is this small team of 10-12 people where I work. Good people. Hard-working too. Some go overboard, sometimes. This puts pressure on others though, nevertheless, we are proud of them. And there is this manager. Works hard— both ways; to manage his duties as a people person and the duties bestowed on him. But more often than not, his gaze lurks around others to find out flaws; even the tiniest of them. To him, either it has to be perfect or it’s nothing at all. Also, if you’re perfect, you have to put in more effort to surpass that. Bulshit!
And if you try to defend yourself, chances are you’re reduced to half of your hours. We all love his dedication to his specific job but not the quality of his leadership. And we’ve lost one of our shiniest colleagues to his rage.
Sometimes I wonder if he is the same in his personal life— always pushing beyond the limits. What if his desire for the next level brings psychological unrest to him, destroying his peace of mind— and affecting the family he might have?
One of my tutors once asked us to be gentle when gathering data for the dissertation. It’s not like you are going to conquer Everest or discover a new continent with your research, she said. Just be yourself and make sure you don’t fall behind the standard; brainstorm but don’t explode. You can keep that for a PhD. Quite hilarious but what she said was true to its bone.
Being yourself is the best thing that can happen to anyone. If you are to do the impossible, it’s already in you— being yourself will eventually take you there. It comes naturally. Be on steroids and you will be exposed someday like some short-lived social media sensations who grow like wild mushrooms and fade away before the next dawn. Nurture yourself, look at your shadow, and give it the space needed to grow— it will never sleep on you.
