Forget the past, focus on your present and plan for the future. We heard this a lot— from our parents to even random wellwishers, everybody will advise you like this once you are in bad shape. But getting rid of the past is that easy? I believe it’s not. In fact, our actions are influenced by our past deeds. It determines what our next step would be, we tend to plan to leverage the odds in our favour, and that’s how we became successful.
Yesterday I was watching a movie. The plot is kind of interesting— an attempt to forget the ‘hitman’ past and embrace a normal social life in the countryside. But instincts don’t die; it may remain hidden away from plain sight but give it a punch and it will surely reveal itself.
There goes a saying—
If you kick a dog long enough, that dog is going to bite you.
No matter how loyal your dog is, or trained to remain calm to its most, stop caring and its urge for survival will force it to fetch food for itself; even if that requires biting the owner.
The same goes for the human being. Situation forces a man to do what’s never expected from that particular character. And in that case, what we did in our past shapes the way we behave at that particular moment. To be honest, we all have some secrets unrevealed to none. Could be dark. Could be lethal. It is our noble intention to shove those ill attitudes, and rough behaviour down to the deep of our hearts. They remain there until we are ‘kicked long enough’.
But some fortunately manage to shift. They are lucky, honestly. For others, it’s a constant struggle to hide one’s true self. Either they give up at some point or continue hiding till death. Masking it is like living a dual life. Living in the present and past simultaneously— regulated by conscience or social law, the nobility puts a smile on the face while repressing the desire to go wild. In that sense, do we really forget our past? I think we don’t. We just learn to live with it.
Personally, I still remember getting involved in many events that were not considered ‘normal.’ But somehow I did. Often times I regret but at the same time, I wonder why they don’t go away from memory. Sometimes I forget what I did a few hours ago but they are there, like a stone preserved with utmost care. In psychology, they are termed core memory— memories that don’t go away even if they are aged decades. I believe trying to forget them makes them more alive. Like something you are reading several times to memorise. Every time you think about those core memories and wonder how to bury them deep, the more you revise them. The more you are nurturing them to become more alive than you are.
So, it’s better to move on, right? Carrying them with you and focusing on your present, utilising them to shape what’s yet to come. Reflection, in other words. The more you reflect, the more you refine yourself. But of course, with a greater intention. Otherwise, your existence might be confined to your past, ruining what potential you may have to share a better future with you, and your surroundings.