“When I was saying “yes”,
I was always the best,
The minute I said “no”,
I became their foe”
― Charmaine J Forde
Friends turning into foes is too common. We all might have such situations where personal conflict made the best friend the worst enemy. But when foes turn into friends, it’s hard to accept. Or even, next to impossible to believe and put your trust in. How do you confirm there are no other intentions— secretly spying on you to blow the machete at the right moment? Judgements aside, it feels good to have your enemies as friends; you get to know what makes them hate you and based on that, self-correction might begin.
Weeks ago, I was concerned about one of my colleagues; the manager. We were having a psychological war or something like that and I was annoyed about him like he was on me perhaps. But he was annoying to others as well and so, I thought I was not biased. Honestly, I’m not. But I was minding my own business rather than following his movement or finding out issues to raise a voice against him. Others did though and after a burst out, he is completely a changed man. Good for me, I’m not as stressed as before and can perform my duties knowing that no one is waiting to ambush me at my vulnerable times. He is now a friend of mine— communicating after work hours, and having funny conversations even on weekends. Not that I’m taking credit for turning him into my friend but yes, I’m happy that he is now more supportive and friendly than used to be. That’s a good sign in any workplace.
This has taught me a lesson.
If you are patient enough, good things will happen. Maybe I showed resilience, or because I wasn’t opposing and he felt pity (highly likely)— either way, I am learning new things from him now which is important at this stage. He may or may not get back to his previous self, but the learning stage that has begun for me will take me to new heights for sure.
Conflict in a workplace is not so uncommon but I believe with a strategic mindset, overcoming issues can be easier. Although it may take some time and might not result in positivity at all, but focusing on personal growth alongside maintaining good rapport with associates will eliminate any barriers in the foreseeable future. Maybe the person you have conflict with will not appreciate your value, or may even try to undermine your potential, but organisations never depend on a single person— others have eyes too. If you are good enough, mindful of your duties, and resilient enough to sustain criticism in a positive way for a while, rewards will be yours to claim.
I am not aware of any historical events, but last night while watching a movie this thing resonated perfectly; skills and personality never go unnoticed— even by the worst enemies. Your foes might not appreciate your potential, that’s because they are jealous, but, they will surely appreciate you secretly— always highlighting your capabilities and how you can end up victorious.
Back to the manager, asked me how I manage to maintain good relationships with all other staff. Although sometimes he says it mockingly, but I am sure it hurts him knowing that there is clearly a gap between other colleagues and him which I don’t.
Don’t be bossy— that was my reply.
He paused for a moment and I knew it almost insulted his ego— but as I said earlier, if your foes turn into friends, self-correction should begin.
And I believe he is trying to do so; I haven’t heard him shouting to others the past few weeks, instead, he is trying to be funny— something never seen in him before. Definitely a good sign and I’ve already started feeling proud of him. I really hope his new attitude earns him more friends in the workplace and eventually he gets some stories to tell when we’re going our separate ways. Till then, be truthful to your confidence and positive attitude. Everything will fall in line.
