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Developing and maintaining good friendships takes effort, sincerity, and time. However, the enjoyment and comfort that friendship can provide make the investment worthwhile.
Friendship is an important relationship throughout a person's life span.
The type of family I came from does not allow us to mingle with other people; my dad almost followed me when I gained admission then. My parents are against us having friends big time, and that marveled me. Then one day I was forced to ask my mom the reason for always chasing out any friend that comes to visit us, and she answered, "Behind those laughs and smiles, there's a big evil that will soon manifest; nobody apart from yourself has good intentions for you."
This response ruined almost some of my youthful days, as all the friends I made turned out to be the reason behind my traumas. And I, being a child who grew up without friends, started having the urge for friendship when I turned 15. I see everyone that comes my way as a true friend and start keeping closeness, and at the end of it all, I'll cry back to my mother.
I meet this great friend of mine who I'm about to share the testimony with y'all in school my first year precisely. He was my neighbor as of then and was in his second year. Being the type that doesn't talk to people first, I don't know if it's because I'm shy or proud, but I found it difficult to interact with people then. It was my first time in school, my first time leaving my parents' sight and coming to school with the same introverted spirit I had back at home. I couldn't just progress well in school.
It was like my neighbors had the same kind of spirit as I did, so everyone was minding their own business. I knew I was having problems and really needed someone to help me with things. Then one day, I lost my keys on my way back from school. It was when I got home that I noticed. I was almost crying at that moment because I was tired and didn't know what to do. I was then trying to break the padlock, though I had the spears inside, but there was no way I could get in.
I was just fighting with the key when I heard someone call me from behind, "Sister, is everything alright?" Then I told him what the problem was. He helped me remove the door catch. I went in and opened the padlock with its spears. So I was able to enter my room without even having to break my room's padlock. That was not all; I can't just say it all. He rendered the help I needed in knowing lecture rooms, venues, offices, and all in school. There was a time when my feeding was on him; those were my 200-level days.
You know, initially, I thought he was after something. We all know most guys and their doing na 馃槀, so I was very careful while meddling with him. And to my greatest surprise, he has never made any suspicious or ungodly move toward me.
It's been three years now, and he hasn't changed a bit. I call him my brother because he didn't let me feel the absence of a brother in my life. Finally, I got someone I could trust, rely on, and confide in without any reason to be scared. There was a time my sister had to come down to my school and I was out of town; he helped me locate her, fed her for that day, and made her rest peacefully for the night.
I've met a lot of people in my life and have had a lot of friends, but meeting them was a disaster. Meeting this close friend of mine was just a miracle. I never imagined for once that a girl and a boy could be friends with no strings attached. To be honest, it's even rare; my kind of friend is just rare, and I'm glad I met him.
How my encounter with him has helped my life
Our friendship thus far has opened up another phase of knowledge in my life. He's a grown person with a mature mind. Despite the fact that we're friends, he still makes sure he corrects, scolds, advises, and prays for me.
Spiritually.
There are times he'll call me on the phone very early in the morning just for us to have our morning devotion. He knows I won't do it if he doesn't force me to do it. And now it has become so much a part of me that I can't get up from the bed without praying first.
He taught me that no problem in this life can be solved without God's intervention, and so I should trust in God and ask for anything I want from him. That has really helped me thus far.
If I don't go to church on a particular Sunday without any genuine reason, then I'll have to read the Bible for the whole week. We're not just friends for friendship's sake; he believes we must make memories, positive ones at that, that will effectively change our lives for the better.
Academically.
My friend graduated this year. a French student who loves English so much. He is so interested in my area of discipline that sometimes we argue about it. We're both language students, but he'll switch from his French language over to English just to look for my trouble; it's always fun, though. There was a time we both argued about the difference between a foreign language and Lingua Franca; that day, people around us actually thought we were going to fight. The shouts and arguments were becoming so much that he gave up, saying he was just pulling my legs and that he wanted to know if I even listened in class and was sure about my claim.
He will always tell me to start reading on the first day of resumption, even before the exam timetable comes out. He'll always tell me to collect questions from seniors immediately when they finish writing a paper and read ahead before the school resumes. I just nod in agreement whenever he's saying those things, because how am I supposed to read when I'm on vacation? But this big head would still come down to my place with a book for us to study. It was annoying sometimes, though, but after studying, I'd realize he just helped me climb a mountain.
Financially.
People don't usually know when I'm broke and when I'm rich, especially in school, because I'll wine and dine the way I want. I'll be broke and still pay all the class dues and all. Sometimes, I'll tell him I'm craving meat, and he'll say that instead of buying suya from the Hausas, which won't be enough, it's better we do barbecue ourselves and invite my close coursemates.
Emotionally.
Having a close friend doesn't mean I don't have other friends. Of course, I do have other friends, coursemates, friends from other departments, and so on. There are times I'd have conflicts with some of them and be emotionally down. He'd help me cheer up and tell me where I was wrong and how to move on. He has helped settle disputes among my other friends and sometimes between me and them.
He helped me talk to my parents when I couldn't because I did something wrong and I didn't know how to apologize to them.
Our encounter with one another has just been sweet, and it has actually been a lot of help to me.
True friendship makes your life more rich and complete, and as you get older, it gives you someone to sit back, tell stories, and reminisce with.
Here are some tips that have actually helped us nurture our friendship since the first encounter.
Kindness: We shouldn't just be kind to people or someone because we want something in return. My friend freely gave out his kind gestures to me, and I did the same. We did that for God's and humanity's sake and not for personal gain, and that went a long way.
Someone who listens: We ask each other what's going on in our lives. My friend always lets me know that his mind is with me when conversing through eye contact, body language, and occasional brief comments such as "That sounds fun," "really," and "Wow! That's amazing." We're always empathetic towards each other whenever we share our sad experiences; yeah, that's what best friends do.
Opening up to each other: We built intimacy with one another by opening up about ourselves. Being willing to disclose personal experiences and concerns shows that your friend holds a special place in your life, and that deepens our connection.
We open up to each other, which enables us to trust each other. Being responsible, reliable, and dependable is key to forming a strong friendship. My friend shares confidential information, and I keep it private.
Availability: Building a close friendship takes time. Lots of effort is needed, which means we keep in touch, call each other, visit each other, and make time for each other. This doesn't mean we don't visit our other friends or loved ones; we just don't allow that to affect our friendship. There are times we won't even see each other for months, but we keep in touch and still get along over the phone. This made us more comfortable with each other.
One of my friend's pieces of advice I can't forget and which has helped me in dealing with friends since our meeting is that "it's never too late to develop new friendships or reconnect with old friends." "Investing time in making friends and strengthening your friendships can pay off in better health and a brighter outlook for years to come."
He'll always tell me to be free and connect with people out there, and at the same time to be careful in choosing friends.
Thank you all for reading through; you're always loved.
