Written 20th May, 2017
Fast Forward to TODAY, (11-06-2020) [[*Oh shoot I have to make a journal entry reflecting on today, from June where I skipped a page. Thanks to this post for reminding me. #TimeTravel ]]
Since then, I have actually sought peace and selflessness.
Also, much of this was hyperbole for the idea (There was going to be a whole novel, but as always, it ended up just to be the one little bit shown here. However, in hind sight, I could not be more delighted I never spent energy on such a thing! But what a creative outlet it was indeed.)
I turned away from my "Evil-doer ways" Which, mostly consisted of an average amount of regular human breakdowns spurred on from suffering psychic attacks. But, whatever. I worked through it.
Now, I fight against the very people who hold these values every day. I fight this within myself. I strive to be self aware and selfless in my thoughts and intentions, and it has made me all the better for it.
I don't even recognize the girl who wrote this. Who could think of such things, who understood such darkness.
But the piece of her that remains is the ability to recognize these behaviors for what they are and how to heal them in other people, the way I was healed. I try to show them the light.
But the sad truth is, you can't save a narcissist.
They can only save themselves;
get it?
So you pray for them, cause I had people praying for me.
And now I pray,
and I pray for myself
and those that wronged me,
and those that loved me when I only loved myself,
which actually meant I didn't love myself at all.
Because love is in other people. Love is in God. Love is in the trees and the skies and the air. Love is in every single thing.
And that's a lot of things. Big world out there, ya know?
And to only care about yourself is to miss out on quite a lot, and it makes the world seem rather small.