When I was eight years old my mother kidnapped me. I went willingly, not knowing any better. At the age of four my father had become extremely violent with me, and even though he was making incredible improvements in his treatment of me I was still scarred by one night I was left bleeding on the floor till morning all because I hadn't wanted to take a bath. It wasn't hard for her to convince me, with promises of no more violence, to keep quiet on the fact that our next vacation to Ohio was one that we had no intention of returning from. I still don't know what she promised my brother, the golden boy, who loved both of his parents devotedly to keep quiet as well, but somehow she managed. She was an incredibly selfish and manipulative woman, and it definitely wouldn't be the last time she used her skills of deceit to get her way beyond all reason.
Once we made it to Ohio and she informed my father that we were not coming back Everything changed. She had to keep herself reserved to some degree at first because we had no place of our own. Living with her parents was not conducive to the violence that she wanted to perpetrate against me, but she found ways to sneak it in here and there, and also tormented me endlessly . At bedtime she would tell me that she was probably going to end up with her brains splattered all over the highway on her way to work or that she would be abducted and raped by violent hillbillys. Insane and ridiculous things but definitely enough to upset an eight year old that had been ripped away from his school, his father and all his friends. I was forced to go to counseling, which I will admit could have actually done me some good but she would only steer the conversation in the direction of what my father had done some four years earlier and anytime I would bring up the things she would do to me she would excuse it, call me a liar, or just deflect and change the subject. These actions combined with the fact that she would tell me over and over and over again that I was sick in the head led to me absolutely hating counseling and being very uncooperative.
Soon we had our own house. The violence escalated. One particular argument that resulted in my mother chasing me through the house screaming "I'll knock your fucking teeth down your throat you little bastard" and "I'll kill you you little son of a bitch" ended with her tackling me to the ground and repeated slamming my head into the floor. I told my counselor about it and my mother said that she was only shaking me because I was hysterical. The counselor Michelle Pruess (hopefully someone that is no longer in practice) just accepted that, children's services was never called my mother never received as much as even the slightest of admonishments for her actions, because everyone knows that violently shaking children is perfectly acceptable behavior apparently.
I was constantly subjected to violence at her hands, I was pinched, slapped, my hair was pulled, snot was blown on me, she exposed herself to me, struck me in the genitals, and would even punch me, all the while telling everyone what a bad kid I was and How terrified of me she was. My counselor being an oblivious imbecile ate it up and finally told my mother that she should call the police on me for being violent. What should have been my salvation, police involvement, Instead had a huge negative impact that definitely changed the course of my childhood and set me back years, in both emotional development and education.
My mother was extremely irresponsible when it came to certain things, she would refuse to buy me clothes that fit me properly or even take me to the doctor at time, but she always had enough money to buy her dogs treats, from rawhide bones to monthly flea pills, and while you may not think those things are too expensive, when you amass seven dogs it definitely adds up. She took a crappy job as a stock person at Wal-mart and because she didn't like it, she took an even shittier job at a local vet clinic that paid next to nothing 5.15 minimum wage at the time. I didnt appreciate having my child support spent on strays that she picked up while I suffered through illnesses without the doctor and had to wear clothes that made me uncomfortable. Definitely not the worst thing she ever did, but it set the scene for some of the most life changing events I had to experience.
I was up in my room one day listening to the dogs fight. I actually had come downstairs to help, because it sounded pretty bad, but by the time I got downstairs the fight was already over I was being obnoxious i'll admit, but all I said was good dogs. I was only twelve years old at the time, but that didn't stop her from immediately balling up her fist and swinging it right at my face. I brought my hand up and blocked her punch then rolled my hand out and grabbed her wrist. She tried to break my grip, but being a small woman with not much muscle she simply couldn't do it. So she tried it with the other hand which I caught as well. I then pushed her to the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. She screamed for my brother to call the police and then savagely bit my arm leaving a huge bruise in an obvious spot that wouldn't fade completely for around a month.
I can't tell you what she told the responding officers of the Ashland County Ohio Sheriff's Department, I can tell you that they failed miserably to do their duty that time and many other times they ended up at our house, where they ignored obvious signs of abuse and the complete lack of evidence that anything violent had ever happened to my mother. I was arrested and charged with domestic violence. I wasn't questioned about what happened, or taken to a doctor for my injuries. I was taken to the local juvenile detention facility where Jeniffer Taylor (sp) a local and glaringly incompetent social worker actually did one thing right by photographing my injury but then failed at her duty by asking me if I wanted to press charges instead of recommending those actions to the prosecutor like she should have. *in Ohio, and I'd imagine in many other states domestic violence charges are not pressed by the victim but instead by the state to avoid people changing their minds to protect their loved ones from prosecutions. I was scared, and confused and just wanted to go home. I didn't think I was going to get in any trouble because all I had done was non violently protect myself and I was the only one even remotely injured. I was sent to a pre-trial by myself with no one to advocate for me and with nothing more than a basic understanding of the full scope of the legal proceeding, because of this I stupidly refused a public defender because I still didn't understand what I was being charged with, when there was no evidence and I had not even been questioned about the incident. I originally plead denial but then the day for my hearing came and I wasn't ready Thinking that i would have another chance to ask for a public defender, and I may well have, but I got scared so I plead guilty because I wanted to go home and they assured me that was the quickest way. I served three days, in a local facility, which though I definitely didn't deserve it , it wasn't too terrible. It did set the stage for her to do the same thing over and over again three more times She brought false charges against me and twice more I was too scared to defend myself. If the officers involved, E. Wayne Risner, and Scott Smart then deputies now disturbingly the head Sheriff and Lt in charge of detectives of the Ashland County Sheriff's Dept. had actually done their jobs though there would have been no reason for me to even have to defend myself. If Jeniffer Taylor of Job and family services had done her job I would have been immediately removed from my mothers custody and it never would have happened again. My father's rights and my own were stripped away from me by the very agencies tasked with protecting them. instead of protecting the victim they protected my mother, the abuser and supported her while she continued to physically, emotionally, and sexually abuse me (by repeatedly exposing herself to me). This kind of dangerous incompetence and negligence needs to stop!
