If I could live my life over again,
next time I would try to make more mistakes.
I wouldn't try to be so perfect, I would relax more.
(Jorge Luis Borges, His last poem).
Two interesting questions posed by 
1锔忊儯 The month of love is still in the air. As a lady, what do you consider more: Careful decisions about whom to love, or the freedom to be spontaneous about it? Do you care more about present moments or future results of your decisions? Why?
I've always been a very structured person, very much a perfectionist and have planned every moment of my life, my future had always been carefully planned and here I am, many years later realizing that nothing went as I had planned.
When I was a little girl, I thought that by the time I was twenty-eight, I would be married with children. By the time I reached that age, my career was in full swing and those plans were behind me.
In fact, I got married and my marriage was very short-lived. At 34, I was divorced, with a newborn child and a sick mother bedridden for the rest of her life. It was my turn to give up once again on my plans, my dreams, my projects.
I was doing the same thing when it came to relationships. I was always waiting for the perfect man. And I had him, but that beautiful human being, is no longer on this earthly plane and unfortunately, all the men I met after him, unintentionally, I established comparisons between them and my Tommi and these poor men, always lost out. And without realizing it, life went on and now I am forty-eight years old and my son is thirteen. Time went by so fast that I didn't even realize it.
Now looking back, I realize that we have to relax a little more, we have to be less structured, less perfectionist; enjoy the details of life, like a beautiful sunset, the sound of rain and a real love, one of those loves that make us laugh, that is something spontaneous, that is someone who walks neither in front of me, nor behind me, but by my side, that happens without complications, that flows by itself without forcing anything. After all, we came to this life, to live it, to enjoy it and to give the best of ourselves.
Of course, all this, always respecting. I would never mess with a married man or a man with a partner. They're not available. It's like looking at a magazine model, I turn the page because that's not for me.
2锔忊儯 Nowadays, premarital sex is rampant among young people. What if you got pregnant, and encountered rude in-laws with a partner who is incapable of standing by himself or standing up for you? Would you rather endure their maltreatment, or walk out on your relationship and raise your child alone? Why?
I'm going to answer this question that, although I'm not a teenager, I went through a similar situation. Thankfully, my in-laws were a sweetheart, but their son, a man who, when we were dating, was a real prince; he was funny, charming, gentlemanly, detail-oriented. The kind of person everyone likes. After we were married, he became a man who, magically, had run out of money and could no longer even buy his own things. But he did have enough to invite friends over to my house (we lived in my parental home).
I was bitter, and unhappy. This was not what I had wanted for myself. So about two months into our marriage, I asked him to leave the house. He refused, but my mom talked to him and demanded that he leave, because I was unhappy and he had become a complete stranger to her.
He finally left and days later, I found out I was pregnant. And he tried to come back to me, but I wouldn't back down. I even introduced my son alone when he was born because his dad was too busy partying, drinking and women and my son has both my surnames.
Daniel, his father, has taken care of him only a few times. I have never demanded anything from him, let alone, talked badly to my son about his dad. It would be causing him tremendous harm. So for my son's mental health, Daniel and I have a good relationship.
When he has money, he contributes to his education and food. But he is not constant. I think he has Peter Pan syndrome (you know, he never wants to grow up).
The thing is that, answering the second question, yes, it is better to separate from everything that hurts us, especially for the sake of our children. I have raised him alone, with absolutely no help from anyone, nor have my siblings been present, except for some birthdays, Christmas and so on. And I feel proud of him, because he is a good boy, he has a great human quality, nobility in his heart, he is an excellent student, he is funny and always steals smiles and a lot of hugs from me. When I look at him, I realize that yes, I have done well and the best decision I could have made, was to break up with my husband.
So far my lines, today I have done catharsis again and I feel liberated, relaxed and calm. Above all, happy and grateful. Grateful to the universe and of course, to Daniel, who gave me this wonderful gift called Gabriel. My son.
I want to invite 
TOTAL thanks!
En Castellano
Si pudiera vivir nuevamente mi vida,
en la pr贸xima tratar铆a de cometer m谩s errores.
No intentar铆a ser tan perfecto, me relajar铆a m谩s.
(Jorge Luis Borges, su 煤ltimo poema).
Dos interrogantes interesantes que nos plantea
1锔忊儯 El mes del amor sigue en el aire. Como mujer, 驴qu茅 considera m谩s? 驴Las decisiones cuidadosas sobre a qui茅n amar o la libertad de ser espont谩nea al respecto? 驴Le importan m谩s los momentos presentes o los resultados futuros de sus decisiones? 驴Por qu茅?
Siempre he sido una persona muy estructurada, muy perfeccionista y he planificado cada momento de mi vida, mi futuro hab铆a estado siempre cuidadosamente planeado y aqu铆 estoy, muchos a帽os despu茅s d谩ndome cuenta de que nada sali贸 como lo hab铆a planeado.
De peque帽a, pensaba que, a los veintiocho a帽os, ya estar铆a casada y con hijos. Cuando llegu茅 a esa edad, mi profesi贸n estaba en pleno crecimiento y esos planes hab铆an quedado atr谩s.
De hecho, me cas茅 y mi matrimonio dur贸 muy poco. A los 34 a帽os, yo estaba divorciada, con un ni帽o reci茅n nacido y una mam谩 enferma postrada en una cama para el resto de su vida. Me toc贸 renunciar una vez m谩s a mis planes, a mis sue帽os, a mis proyectos.
Lo mismo hac铆a en cuanto a las relaciones de pareja. Siempre estuve esperando al hombre perfecto. Y lo tuve, pero ese bello ser humano, ya no est谩 en este plano terrenal y lastimosamente, todos los hombres que conoc铆 despu茅s de 茅l, sin querer, yo establec铆a comparaciones entre ellos y mi Tommi y estos pobres hombres, siempre sal铆an perdiendo. Y sin darme cuenta, la vida sigui贸 pasando y ahora mismo tengo cuarenta y ocho a帽os y mi hijo, trece. El tiempo pas贸 tan r谩pido que, ni siquiera, me di cuenta.
Ahora mirando hacia atr谩s, me doy cuenta de que hay que relajarse un poco m谩s, hay que ser menos estructurados, menos perfeccionistas; disfrutar de los detalles de la vida, como una bonita puesta de sol, el sonido de la lluvia y un amor real, un amor de esos que nos hacen re铆r, que sea algo espont谩neo, que sea alguien que camine ni delante, ni detr谩s de m铆, sino a mi lado, que se d茅 sin complicaciones, que fluya solo sin forzar nada. Total, vinimos a esta vida, a vivirla, a disfrutarla y dar lo mejor de nosotros mismos.
Por supuesto, todo esto, siempre respetando. Jam谩s me meter铆a con un hombre casado o con pareja. Esos no est谩n disponibles. Es como ver a un modelo de una revista, paso la p谩gina porque eso no es para m铆.
2锔忊儯 Hoy en d铆a, las relaciones prematrimoniales est谩n muy extendidas entre los j贸venes. 驴Y si te quedas embarazada y te encuentras con unos suegros maleducados y con una pareja incapaz de valerse por s铆 misma o de defenderte? 驴Preferir铆as soportar sus malos tratos o abandonar la relaci贸n y criar sola a tu hijo? 驴Por qu茅?
Voy a responder esta pregunta que, aunque no soy adolescente, pas茅 por una situaci贸n similar. Afortunadamente, mis suegros eran un amor, pero su hijo, un hombre que, cuando 茅ramos novios, era un verdadero pr铆ncipe; era divertido, encantador, caballero, detallista. El tipo de persona que le agrada a todo el mundo. Una vez casados, se convirti贸 en un hombre que, m谩gicamente, se le hab铆a acabado el dinero y ya no pod铆a ni siquiera comprarse sus propias cosas. Pero s铆 que ten铆a para invitar a los amigos a mi casa (viv铆amos en mi casa paterna).
Yo estaba amargada, e infeliz. Esto no era lo que hab铆a querido para m铆. As铆 que a los dos meses de casados, le ped铆 que se marchase de la casa. No quiso, pero mi mam谩 habl贸 con 茅l y le exigi贸 que se fuera, porque yo no era feliz y 茅l se hab铆a convertido en un completo desconocido para ella.
Finalmente, se march贸 y d铆as despu茅s, supe que yo estaba embarazada. 脡l intent贸 volver conmigo, pero yo no quise dar marcha atr谩s. Incluso, cuando naci贸, lo present茅 sola porque su pap谩, estaba muy ocupado de fiesta, tragos y mujeres y mi hijo, tiene mis dos apellidos.
Daniel, su pap谩, se ha ocupado de 茅l pocas veces. Jam谩s le exig铆 nada y menos, le habl茅 mal a mi hijo de su pap谩. Ser铆a causarle un da帽o tremendo. As铆 que por la salud mental de mi hijo, Daniel y yo, tenemos una buena relaci贸n.
Cuando 茅l tiene dinero, aporta en su educaci贸n y en su alimentaci贸n. Pero no es constante. Creo que tiene el s铆ndrome de Peter Pan (ya sabes, que no quiere crecer nunca).
El caso es que, respondiendo a la segunda pregunta, s铆, es mejor separarse de todo lo que nos hace da帽o, sobre todo por el bien de nuestros hijos. Yo lo he criado sola, sin ayuda de absolutamente nadie, ni mis hermanos han estado presente, excepto para alg煤n cumplea帽os, Navidades y ya. Y me siento orgullosa de 茅l, porque es un buen chico, tiene una gran calidad humana, nobleza en su coraz贸n, es excelente estudiante, es divertido y siempre me roba sonrisas y un mont贸n de abrazos. Cuando lo miro, me doy cuenta de que s铆, lo he hecho bien y la mejor decisi贸n que pude tomar, fue terminar con mi esposo.
Hasta aqu铆 mis l铆neas, hoy he vuelto a hacer catarsis y me siento liberada, relajada y tranquila. Sobre todo, feliz y agradecida. Agradecida con el universo y por su puesto, con Daniel, que me dio este maravilloso regalo que se llama Gabriel. Mi hijo.
Quiero invitar a
隆Gracias TOTALES!
For your information:
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Translator DeepL.
Para tu informaci贸n:
Contenido 100% original, de mi propiedad.
Portada hecha en Canva.
Fotograf铆as propias.
Gif animados extra铆dos de una p谩gina libre de regal铆as, llamada Gifs animados.
Traductor DeepL.