I’m Not Stupid, I’m Forgetful
I say that phrase often. People who know me, have likely heard me say it. It's true, sometimes I do seem rather stupid. I get it. I do. But, I'm not stupid. I've just forgotten. Before I forget why I use this phrase, I will write it down for posterity.
December 8, 2008 I was in a pretty nasty car accident. I was hit broadside by a vehicle doing 50 in a 35. This impact spun my car 90 degrees and shoved me into the rear end of another vehicle. My head slammed into the door, headrest, and windshield within an instant. The collision was so violent, I suffered the equivalent of four concussions in the fraction of a second.
I spent only a day in the hospital. They determined that the swelling of my brain wasn't severe enough to warrant keeping me there. I received eight staples in my head. Even though I sustained serious whiplash, there was nothing broken.
The fallout was gnarly. I had a bruise in the shape of my seat belt across my chest. Both of my eyes darkened and swelled shut. The hospital left the glass from the windshield in my scalp. Every shower I took for months involved bits of glass coming out when I washed my hair.
The long-term effects were far worse. This accident began a life altering battle with migraines. I have migraines so often, that I use a powerful prescription to combat them. In addition, I have to avoid bright lights, loud noises, and crowded situations to avoid the vicious on set of a migraine. But, wait, there's more.
As if the migraines aren't enough, I now suffer from memory loss.my short term memory is pretty good. But, my long term memory has more holes than Swiss cheese. It's getting worse. I have moments of total memory collapse. Sometimes, I can look at someone who I've literally known for years and not know their name. I know that I recognize them. Sometimes I remember where I know them from. But the name will escape me.
I also have what I call savant moments. I will have near total recall at random times. I will suddenly remember every detail of something that happened decades ago. It is never related to what I'm doing or thinking either. It is just so completely random and fleeting.
My current profession is retail sales of wireless devices and services. I have over twelve years in this profession. But sometimes I seem a little stupid. In all honesty, I've forgotten more than what most of my coworkers know. I'm actually ridiculously intelligent. Or I was, until I began losing my mind.
I have a tested, confirmed, and documented I.Q. of 133. That's just seven points under “genius level intellect” on the Einstein scale. I graduated high school 2 years early. I was a National Honor Society member and well many other academic accolades. But, all that intelligence matters not, if you can't remember.
I don't want sympathy. It solves nothing. Don’t pity me or think less of me. I just wanted to share the origin of the saying, I’m not stupid, I’m forgetful. And, now you know. As Sgt. Slaughter said, “...knowing is half the battle.”
