I'm Not Fine.

This is a very very deep one, because a lot of us are a victim of this, so I believe not only I will have something to say, but a host of others will. While we pretend to be fine and alright there are whole lot of things that we do, we smile at times when we are weeping inside, w laugh when we are grieving in there, we say it is okay, but deep down.. we know nothing is okay. A lot of us have mastered that act so much, you won't even know we are the opposite of what you're assuming because we don't look like what we are going through.

Sometimes ago, I was being faced with something, ien that rendered me helpless, it was a trying time for me. And most people did not even know. One day, I was having a deep conversation with someone who needed some sort of motivation and encouragement and I decided to share some parts of my life with him. Guess what he said after I was done.. he sighed and said, "you don't look like it, sir."

And that's just the truth. We face things and act like all is well. That night, I couldn't sleep. Because I know deep down in me that I'm not fine.. both physically, mentally and emotionally... it's affecting me all-rounder. I was only trying to cope and look fine to everyone, but deep down I was drowning.

But then, I've been doing my best to talk things out, even though its not that easy, especially for a guy. There's this mentality that men shouldn't act weak, be vulnerable and such, but then we are humans too... I don't just talk anyhow or to anyone, I make sure its someone matured enough to know that regardless of gender and all, I am human.

And in all honesty, I'm not fine. No need to hide or pretend about it, I am not. Aside that the country itself is not encouraging, a lot of things are not falling into place, and its getting to mess with my peace.

So, to everyone who come across this, pretending to be good and alright will only make you look good on the surface and maybe protect your image, but in there it will mess with your peace. Best thing is for us to be honest with ourselves, there's no need covering up what we definitely need help about. If it doesn't look like it, don't say it is....

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Images are mine.

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