Since childhood, I have always loved staying alone and I rarely make friends. I grew up same way, just on my own, minding my business and it affected me in some ways.
My mom once told me that when I was still an infant, I would sit exactly where she put me till she comes to carry me or my siblings play with me, I do not move away from where ever she puts me. I really did not believe her at first because why would a baby be that weird I thought within myself. Then, I did a little self study and I came to conclusion that I was actually like that because I still behave that way sometimes especially when I am in a place I do not know any friend.
Thank God for the invention of earpiece, ear pods and buds, I am more satisfied to listening to music than trying to talk to new people around me. It feels burdensome sometimes when I try to engage in a conversation with a stranger.
I do not make friend easily, I don't even mingle easily with people. When I was still in secondary school, there was a very good friend of mine who became so close to me to the extent that he eats with my family and even sleeps over several times. He was the exact opposite of myself when it comes to making friends. We both play the guitar ... I play the bass guitar and he plays the lead guitar... Each time we get invited to play in a church, he get so free with the musicians we meet there within an hour and I feel so bad that I can't even start a conversation with anyone talkless of holding a conversation. I really get jealous of my friend each time we go out, he even got more close to some of my friends that I introduced to him.
Later on, I stopped worrying about not being able to make friends easily, I accepted myself the way I am. Instead of being worried, I took time to gradually change myself and work on becoming someone others would want to speak to. A lot changed within a year and I got better Though I am still not so good at making friends, but I am not bad at making friends either.
The way I view friendship, I do not call many people my friend: I say I know them instead of calling them my friends. A friend is someone I believe to be responsible for me in some ways and vice versa. I do not see friendship as a simple thing, especially at this stage of my life where I need defined and well planned relationship with people.
I do not call a person my friend except I find them valuable, it doesn't have to be financially, it can be in character, kindness, acacdemics, music, etc. And that is why I make sure I am valuable too, it should not be a one sided thing.
I do not like many friends, I can't point out excatly why I don't. I prefer few circle of friends. I have circles of friends, the spiritually circle where we share the Word of God and pray together, the skill and update circle, we are bound by skills like design and tech related skill. One very common thing between all my frineds is that they have eaten my food before (it sounds funny but that's me) I literally would cook for them and I can beat my chest that they can testify to it😂😂 and I am a very good cook.
That's all, for now
Thank you for engaging with my post
