They say that the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was teaching the world that he didn't exist.

Chances are, it all started with this.

“Take this apple,” said the snake.

Of course he did._

Go For the One He's Not Offering

I mean, wouldn’t you if you were he? I mean, two new tenants enjoying the life of luxury, getting to do everything they want without the knowledge of the world or vanity? They get to explore and eat, enjoying all the things. To top it off, they have the ability to defy the all-knowing ALMIGHTY. They can say fuck you to Elohim???

Yeah, you know that you would do it. Then again, none of us can really say. It's not like we've ever been through it. Do you really think that apples were the only fruit to pick? I'm just saying something to this story, kinda smells like shit.

I'm sure there were better options up in the blessed of all the gardens. Besides, peaches and the Devil are known all around Georgian parts. Personally, I thnk that the peach has a very special place in a certain Satan's heart. And again, doing what devils do, I think that he had a plan to play the humans for a fool.

PROOF: The Devil, Georgia Ala Primus

So, if you were offering, consider what you would pick, the apple or the peach?

The answer is simple if you sit and think. Of course, apples are delicious… but were they really back then? Do you know how much engineering has gone into steering apples to what they are now to what they were then? Google it. No, no, no. It’s obvious that the Devil did what devils do.

He lied and gave them the trash fruit. Thus, this was the end for the evil apple and a story for the books.

LONG LIVE THE PEACH!

Who Has a Rumbly In Their Tumbly?

Now, since the win is clear I could end it there but I think there is more to this story than it looks.

While pondering peachery, something occurred to me that apples and peaches are often compared although notice how no one would dare to mistake the peach for the apple, but the other way around. They can spot the original, the one that is one of a kind. Yes, through antiquity they all thought the peach was fucking awesome.

Not only did it have it’s own God just for it’s blossoms, the Chinese wrote about this fabulous fruit back in the 10th century. Then Pliny praised it as the Persian apple in the first year of AD. Through the eras the apple continued to be nefarious. I mean, it’s borderline evil. Of course like all things with a pit, the apple is poisonous, but never has a fruit been more vilified or shown more treacherous. Enticing maidens and never quite satiating. You’d never need THREE peaches to entice someone.

Nope, I’ll bet you’d only need one. And just think, with one tasty treat, wouldn’t Atalanta would have been back to the race in no time and pervy Melanion wouldn’t have had been able to trick her in a footrace. Unfortunately for her (and her virtue) the there was no peach within her reach. The same could be said for the Damsel of Discordia. While she may be the fairest, you can’t argue that perhaps chaos would be altogether different if the peach hadn’t been so distant.

Who Has a Rumbly In Their Tumbly?

For in a time before Snicker’s existence, panties were still bound to get twisted from hunger. Their soft yet textured exterior, Warm and fuzzy features, Intoxicating smell and all of the promise of perfection… Only the beginning of the allure. Moisture escapes as it parts in pieces, Smooshy sweetness between the clefted crease, Inviting enjoyment from the ripeness of summer sun-kissed peaches. Dark russet nectar couldn’t be better.

With it’s rippled texture and poisonous pit, There is simply nothing that compares to it. And let us not forget, the simple sexiness, yet another thing that Asians praise it for. Long Live the Peach! Designed flawlessly for mastication or decoration. Mother Nature’s designer digestive couture. Throughout history, peach the provocateur reigns supreme. So, now, back to the question… Why do you think that the snake gave up the purest of the apples to eat?

What God could have evicted man from Eden had he been lured by a peach?

Ripened to perfection and picked in the ideal summer season?

I'm betting Adonai was quite capable of reason.

So snakey Satan, offered up an alternative. One which would guarantee God would banish them for such a lowly sin.

Now, of course that means Satan wins and perhaps the athiests were right?

Just remember though that this isn't the last chapter of man's plight.

I think the only one true interpretation is...

The one thing that we can all agree on is that peaches always win.

<3 <3 <3 FIN <3 <3 <3