I'm an old romantic at heart so let me set the scene for you this valentines day. Picture it a lovely Tuscan private beach a meal for two a bottle or two of Dom Perignon 65 whispering sweet nothings before whisking you upstairs for an indulgent night rose petals leading to a four poster bed in a 5 star hotel & falling asleep to the sound of crickets chirping in the distance now there's a thought.
It's dreamland for some English gentleman some of us are just going to have to settle for less, it's no good having champagne tastes if you only have beer pockets as my father used to say.
So what's on offer for us humble folk?
For a mere £20 you can head on down to your local wetherspoon pub where they are offering two main courses two deserts & two drinks from an extensive list of drinks 40 in total, everyone should be able to find something you like hell for an extra £5 if your feeling flush they will even throw in a bottle of Prosecco.
For that you get four choices of main course you can have a 35 day matured 8oz Sirloin steak, BBQ Pork ribs, A mixed grill or a chicken melt. Vegans unfortunately aren't catered for but vegetarians can have a vegetable lasagne ‘made with pasta, aubergine, red pepper, courgette and Ragu sauce, Cheddar cheese, spinach, mozzarella & rocket pesto.
For dessert they are offering fudge cake with ice cream or a cookie dough sandwich with ice cream.
£25 & your sorted.
But what if £25 is outside your budget?
Good news from McDonalds in Newcastle although note well Casanova you will need to book in advance to spoil your dream date in such a fashion & make her putty in your hands. You have 3 slots to book in for 7pm, 8pm, & 9pm & they promise to go all out providing the most romantic 3 course meal in history.
To avoid disappointment you must book early & what relationship could possibly fail after going all out like this it's important folks to keep your relationship goals achievable not.
If that's all too much to take in & still a bit over indulgent for you just before you go taking your loved one searching through the bins with the local bums there is one more option that is a bit more for us down to Earth types.
Now come on don't knock it until you've tried it sometimes the simple pleasures in life are best & Greggs the bakers are keen to get in on the valentines specials.
Candles, roses, a four-course dinner and prosecco await the lucky couples who make the unorthodox but in all very respectable choice of Greggs this Valentine’s Day. All in for £15 they promise that sausage rolls & romance can go hand in hand & they guarantee, hell even I guarantee that it will be a night to remember I mean who could forget?
For starters they are offering a composition of canapes – seasoned pork and puff pastry slider, steak & blue cheese en croute, katsu tortilla wrap, Mexican chicken chipotle spoon, or a béchamel toasted honey cured ham square and tomato gazpacho.
The main course is a puff pastry parcel, freshly baked to order, accompanied by oven roasted spiced potato slices and a garnish of fresh Apollo and spinach leaves with sunblush tomatoes. Dessert is a ‘brochette of miniature doughnuts paired with a rich butterscotch flavoured dipping sauce’ (Please don’t ask what a brochette is).
The final course, or Petit Fours and coffee if you’re posh, consists of a Belgian dark chocolate brownie, raspberry and almond bite, with caramel shortbread, accompanied by freshly ground coffee.
Tables are available to book exclusively through 'OpenTable' where couples will ‘receive first class table service’ and the ‘fine dining Greggs experience’.
Dress code: Business casual. Obviously.
Got to hand it to them. See you down Greggs then
Credits to Greggs, McDonalds, & Wetherspoons for pics & menu's but mostly my own work
