Thumbnail made using OpenAi
I told my friend last week that I'm done waiting until I feel okay before doing anything again. She looked at me like I'd lost my senses, randomly saying stuff because obviously I didn't start with a premise. But it was definitely the truth for me.
I've spent months thinking, if I just process everything the right way, if I can figure out why things happened, then I'll be able to move forward regardless of the situation I'm in, but that is not how it works at all. Some stuff is just totally unfair and no matter how much you try to understand it, it's still going to be unfair. Like when my landlord increased my rent by 40%, I asked why, he had nothing to say except times are hard, so unfair. My coworker got promoted after I did all the work on that project for which she got the promotion, but still got the promotion and I hand a simple handshake. Sitting here looking at those things over and over does not make them fair.
The amount of stuff I control is very small. Like the way I spend my time, the people I spend time with, whether or not I apply for something that scares the crap outta me, that is all mine.
Everyone expects you to always be strong after going through a tough time. But they forget that being strong means knowing when to take a break. I used to say yes too many times to my family or do things for other people that drained me. This does not mean I'm being selfish now. It just means I will actually have the energy when it is time to show up for something important to me.
I submitted my application yesterday. I really don't feel ready, and I could totally fail. But I just can't keep sitting around waiting till I feel like I'm ready to apply. It's the exact same thing as continuing to be stuck. There are some things that are unfair, there are others that are mine to control and I will protect my limited energy.
This is a guide that could help you make the transformation in your life and have a more resilient mindset. You'll need it because the world is only going to increase the kind of pressure it keeps giving to you.
