Opinions everywhere, everybody has an opinion about you, but are you aware you have the power to choose which opinion you value. That's actually very important, selectively picking the opinions you value.
The reason why that's necessary is that it's the best way to handle insults. Insults hurt, it's basically one of the highest forms of disrespect and nobody wants to be insulted.
Insulting a person is one of the easiest way to pick a fight or make an enemy. However, insults only hurt when you care about the opinion of the person because to some extent, insults are opinions.
I honestly don't get how some people waste so much time trying to tear others down but hate is real anyways and argument or dispute can lead to hate when it escalates.
Maturity comes with changing how you respond to situations, especially bad ones. After all these years of growth I've learned that if I'm going to get hurt from something said to me, well, first, I must care what that person thinks and if I don't, then the insult means nothing to me.
An insult can come from a cheeky remark, not just a direct "you're stupid or fuck off" it's subtle, buried in a typical conversation with someone that has a problem with you. Those remarks are usually aimed at irritating you.
I do have to confess that I've found myself rethinking exactly what someone was trying to say to me after the conversation was over. I cared about whether they were trying to insult me when we were talking. But this little trick of deciding for myself whether someone's opinion matter or not was a perfect way to deflect the insult.
The insults sent in my direction would all be irrelevant if I didn't give it permission.
You putting someone else's opinion above yours gives them control over your feelings and when someone else has more power over you than you, chances of getting abused by them is very high.
I've personally had days in my life where there were some things that would've wrecked my day. I've got some really annoying coworkers and for so long they had full control over my feelings. Almost like they had a remote controller over my emotions, they knew just what to say to piss me off and I realized they enjoyed the control they had.
But the moment I realized their opinion only matters because I give it weight, everything shifted and in a funny way the tables actually turned. I didn't just have control over my emotions, I kinda had control over theirs too. When someone insults you and you treat it like it ain't shit, it hurts like hell to them.
It may look like arrogance but it's not, it's actually self respect. Just train your mind in such a way that people are allowed to have whatever opinion, but it doesn't control you.
There is freedom in this too. If you can manage to laugh over a half hearted insult. But when someone tries to put you down and you are utterly unconcerned, the person basically becomes a joke.
You'll start to notice the insecurities in what they're saying. It's your attention they were seeking all along and there's this desperation they have in trying to diminish you.
Took me a while but, I twisted the whole thing on people that insult me to a point where I realized, the insult is not about me, it is about them, their problem with me. For anyone to insult you, you need to first regard what they're saying.
