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You want something, you have to go for it and make it happen yourself, but for me it was way after the fact, but not long enough that it's actually sunk in to my bones, the way I've been treating other people because I've never actually earned it. Respect is earned and you can't expect respect until after you earn it. It feels weird to have expected something prior to doing the work.
Then there is honesty, and that is kind of a whole different thing in itself, people appreciate it, even when it is hard to hear, even, may be particularly, when it is hard to hear. I've burned a couple of bridges because I was trying to be diplomatic and not telling the truth. And that weird guilt cannot be overlooked that's for sure, and not nearly as long as the guilt of being direct with people. The bill of groceries three weeks ago still on my counter is not bothering me as much as the memory of burning a bridge.
Taking time to build trust is the truth, it needs time to build so rebuilding a broken one is not easy. Trust does take time, just not as long as it seems to take to build it the right way. You build trust in seemingly insignificant, moments. Keeping a small promise, being there for someone when it's really inconvenient and one day, just like that, you have trust built.
The final most important virtue is loyalty. As much as I've talked about how respect and honesty take time to build and trust takes time, clearly, loyalty is what touches me the most. It takes time to earn or lose loyalty, time to earn back loyalty, because loyalty can never be assumed. Loyalty is a two way street, because if you're loyal to someone, they will return that loyalty to you. A whole economy of unappreciated, unaccounted for behaviors, most of us are a part of without even realizing it. Leaders are demanding loyalty, want you to become like a sheep to the slaughter and they don't show any loyalty to their followers.
