Before I became someone who was determined not to feel pressured anymore, which has been something I have come to overcome, I was once there, and I must tell you that it makes you think and see yourself as less than you truly are. It makes you compare yourself and lose your identity. It makes you become one who is tossed left and right, and you’d not see anything wrong in it, even when it takes your peace away.
I battled with an inferiority complex as a child, and I saw myself as being ugly. I would start comparing myself, saying, “If only I were more beautiful like her… if only I had a boyfriend like my friends who would always get me gifts… if only and only this and that.”
This made me resort to stealing, lying, and being disobedient to my parents because I wanted to fit in. I wanted to own a phone because my younger sister had one, which was given to her by one of our aunts while she stayed at their place.
This made me spend the money a friend at school kept in my custody to get a phone because she saw me as a good person who could be trusted. I allowed peer pressure to take away that respect, and I became an object of ridicule at school, losing the trust people once had in me.
After finishing secondary school and moving in with my aunt in Ibadan, my mindset changed. I became a changed and different person. That was when I decided to be who I am, accepting that I am me, and no one can make me something else. I earned my trust back at my aunt’s place because she saw that I didn’t steal her money. I said things as they were, and I became different.
Peer pressure is part of life; everyone has gotten a taste of it in one way or another — from dressing the way others do, going out like others, just because you don’t want to be left behind, etc.
I remember when I was in the college of education, my friends saw that I didn’t have a boyfriend. They suggested I visit a place where my problems would get solved. I declined immediately and told them I don’t do such things, and besides, when the time is right, I will have a partner. I only came to school to study and live a good life.
No matter how much they pressured me to go out to clubs, buy new outfits now and then, attend parties, I simply rejected their offers, and I have always been fine without sadness overwhelming me.
In fact, I discovered how peaceful your life would be when you decide not to do as they do. When you know this is wrong, but you choose to stand your ground and do the right thing. People will mock you and say all manner of things, but that is how you become free from every shackle of bondage, making you want everything, even to the extent of losing your mind to get things, because you’ll never be satisfied and will always crave more.
One thing about these kinds of people is that when trouble comes, only those who truly mean well will stay, trying to help you get back on track, while you see those who were the cause stepping back. They won’t be there to help you; you’ll be left to face the consequences alone.
This is one of the reasons I don’t easily fall into any form of pressure because I know one thing: everyone’s time is different, and there is a season for everything. We only need to wait and be patient.
With this perspective and my mind renewed, I became someone who would never be pressured whatsoever. Just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean I should join them. It takes one light to shine around thousands of darkness, and trust me, it’s all about our mind and decision to shine that light and never let darkness win.
Images Credit to my sister
