I knew what freedom meant at a very young age, and I have always wanted to be alone so I could do the things I was restrained from doing when I was a young girl. I remember a time when I was in junior school, and there was an aunt in our neighbourhood who had a fiancé at the time. As young as I was, I understood what true love was.
I would secretly stand at a corner watching the lovebirds at night, expressing their love to each other and holding hands. I wanted it. I felt like I needed someone to hold my hand, too, but I was still young. So, I would wish for myself to grow up as soon as possible so I could have a boyfriend and be free to do whatever I wanted — not under my parents’ watch, though. They’d kill me!
Another time was when I was in secondary school. My dad made me stay with his friend in Lagos so I could continue schooling from there. The reason was that we were living in Lagos before we got an unexpected notice to evacuate our house because some companies had bought the building, and my parents did not like the idea of changing our schools.
So, we moved to Mowe town, and the journey from there to Lagos is less than two hours. During school days, we would stay at his friend’s place from Monday to Friday and then travel back home on Friday evening.
At my dad’s friend’s place, there were two aunties who were living together, and every time they cooked noodles and eggs, they would bring them outside to eat. It was like an oppression to me then because we dared not cook anything other than what we were being served.
So, the issue of freedom and staying alone bothered me so much that I wanted everything to come quickly so I could cook any kind of meal I wanted without being restricted. Every time, I would imagine staying alone and doing whatever I wanted without anyone monitoring me, and this continued for a long time. I would always count the number of years remaining even though I still had a long way to go.
Fast forward to the year 2012 when I gained admission into the College of Education. My joy knew no bounds! At that time, I was living with my aunt, whom I thought was very cruel to me but didn’t know I was being trained to become better.
Though she had her good sides, her bad side was too much on me that we’d fight almost every day, especially when she would overload me with lots of tasks without considering my power limit.
We were washing a customer’s clothes that morning when my cousin called to inform me that I had been admitted into the college. You need to have seen how I danced!
To my aunt, she would think I was happy that I would be going to school, but to me, it was the happiness that finally, my dream of staying alone and not being burdened with much work had come true.
What about now? How is it going? Are you still excited that you are on your own?
Though, there were some days I wished I could go back to my parents and wait a while to enjoy the opportunity I had as a child under their watch because it got to a point I couldn’t continue living on my own.
I missed the food I ate without buying it myself. I missed using the toothpaste anyhow, without having to manage it, because I was scared of finishing it quickly and not being able to get another one. I missed not having to think of what to eat every time because mommy was there to do the thinking. I missed saving my money and not spending. Lol.
Seriously, I rushed into having freedom. I didn’t want to be sent on errands everywhere and at any time because I wanted my privacy. But now, I am used to it, and since I have grown older, I don’t wish to go back because I am now enjoying my life, and the things I have learnt along the way have shaped who I am today. So yes, I am very excited to be on my own and enjoying the journey.
Image Source from Gemini