... THEY JUST WATCH ME.
I'm so frustrated. I can't live. This isn't life. I can't bathe myself, I cant walk, I cant brush my teeth alone. Anything that requires me to move my body in repetitive movements, make me tear, bleed, pass out. I mean my discharge paperwork show I have a partially collapse lung. I cant breathe when I walk and they act like it's a fucking secret?? Really? HOW MANY TIMES MUST I FALL? HOW MANY TIMES MUST I BLEED? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO ALMOST DIE, BEFORE THEY DO ANYTHING? DO NOTHING. So why go.....I just dont care anymore. I'm tired. I'm so tired. It gets so exhausting to fight your body. It's like fighting ghost. Spasms, jerking movements...then it all causes pain... it's the same cycle, Circle over and over and over. Like I'm put in a washer machine and thrashed repeatedly. You just get to the point where you dont care. I'm there.
