I dont know when I'm going to catch a break 2 years of this business and i lost everything twice.
I'm stressed out so much I can't even sleep anymore. I might die of a heart attack one day I'm sure of it this time the amount of stress I've been through all these years and constant failures good lord this is a joke 😂🤣
It's hard to believe i planned everything so well everyone couldn't believe how i built this alone only a madman does it and i did it but in the end lost everything it doesn't make any sense at all.
They said I'm smart i planned well I made it happened i built things with my own hands i built a chicken farm large enough with my own hands to fit 5000 chickens day and night just hammering 🔨 the woods 🪵 and nails i get sick so many times due to the extreme heat then at night extreme cold.
I even burned 🔥 myself few times I have scars all over now well my modeling career is over 🤣🤣 . I also cut myself so many times these past 2 years I can't even count now even cut myself with a grinder bloody hell that was scary blood everywhere had to walk over to the next house while I raise my hands up so the blood dont gust out so much. By the time I arrive at the door I passed out 😂😂 luckily I woke up after few seconds they gave me bandages and all and asked if they should send me to the hospital I said its fine I bandage myself up and i told them let me rest for awhile I'm just in shock dont worry so much.
Well I cut myself many times at the restaurant so this is no difference. I read so much about chickens people start to call me chicken man.
I should have just stayed in Abu Dhabi and went to Australia or The US from there like I planned. Or I should just live like a normal person find a job just be a slave forever while keeping my savings from Abu Dhabi safe in the bank while I get small amount of interest its not much but at least when I grow old no one take care of me so that money can last for awhile.
Sigh I dont know man wtf did I do so wrong. Everyone I know says I'm a genius yea right a poor genius there's no such thing as a poor genius I'm doing something wrong I just know it but I just dont know what yet.
I tried to stay cool but damn man 2 years i wasted next year will be the third year holy fuck me. Another year of failure? Well with how things are why not right 😂. Damn I let everyone down this time. It's 4am and i can't sleep i can't relax no matter what I do. I really dont want to write this but I dont know what else to do. It's true the movie you watch when they show only gangsters and powerful people can do big business small guys wont stand a chance without a group.
In my mind I wish I never met anyone my life would have been so much better if I just stayed in my own lane.