In the world today, phones have become like a second self for many people. We wake up with our phones, we walk with them, eat with them and sometimes even sleep with them beside our pillows.
In Nigerian homes, this habit has quietly entered our daily lives. During dinner, one person is scrolling through WhatsApp, another is watching TikTok videos, while someone else is replying office emails, even when the family gathers to watch a movie, some eyes are still fixed on phone screens.
Family is vital in the African culture. Evenings traditionally were the nights of stories, laughter, counsel, and unifying. Parents would discuss their day, children would share about their school life and old people would offer some wisdom. These are the times that pruned families together and unfortunately phones have gradually taken over such experiences, we are physically there but emotionally not.
Prohibiting phones at some times, does not imply hate towards technology. Phones are practical appliances since they allow us to interact, study, work and even make a living. Most of the parents use their phones to conduct businesses and children learn through them.
The issue however begins when phones replace moments in which human beings should interact. It is not about control but about balance when there is a phone ban during dinner or family time.
Imagine a family sitting down for dinner. The food is hot, the soup smells good but everyone is silent and their fingers are busy scrolling, eyes are glued to screens and no one asks how the day went. Over time, this silence becomes normal and children stop sharing their struggles, parents stop noticing changes in behavior and family bonds become weak.
A simple phone ban during dinner can change this. When phones are kept away, conversations begin to flow. Laughter returns, small issues are discussed before they become big problems.
Some people argue that banning phones is an infringement of rights, they believe everyone has the right to use their phone whenever they want. While this argument sounds reasonable, it misses an important point because rights come with responsibility. In a family setting, individual freedom should not destroy collective bonding. Parents already set rules for children like bedtime, chores and study time.
Such rules are not perceived as oppressions but as a guide. Similarly, family phone ban is a regulation that is designed to preserve relationships, not govern individuals. Banning phones temporarily is also not equal to the taking away of phones, it is not an established limitation but a temporary pause.
Similar to the schools that prohibit phones during classes to promote learning, homes can prohibit phones during family time to promote connection. In case it is okay in schools and offices, why should it be not okay in homes?
The other significant fact is the impact of phones on mental and emotional health. A significant number of individuals in the present day lament of stress, anxiety, and loneliness despite being in the company of relatives. Social media gives a false sense of connection and it tends to make people more comparative and pressured.
Phone free family time provides individuals with a secure environment to be authentic. It enables parents to know whether a child is quiet or is upset, it enables couples to be close to each other free of any distraction. Such instances are significant to emotional health.
In the scenario where the kids are sitting in the presence of adults and they are glued to their phones, this may be perceived as a sign of disrespect. The phone ban at the gathering-place teaches the children courtesy, patience and hearing. It also teaches them to know how to communicate in person, which is gradually becoming extinct. The lessons will be valuable in their future lives and jobs.
Parents are also expected to be role models. Children should not be prohibited to use phones yet parents continue to receive calls or go through social media. Children would accept the rule when they observe that parents are following the rule.
Emergencies can happen. Important calls may come in. The rule should not be rigid or unreasonable. The idea is to reduce unnecessary phone use, not to ignore real responsibilities. Families can agree on specific times, like 30 minutes during dinner or two hours during movie night. Clear boundaries make the rule easier to follow.
Banning phones during specific family times is not an infringement of rights. Instead, it is a conscious effort to protect family values and relationships.
In a world that technology is tearing people apart, Nigerian homes have to make effort to make time to be together. There will always be phones but family time is valued and rare. By deciding to leave phones behind, albeit temporarily, one is making a decision to love, to be present and to be together.
After all, it is not always the best network signal that makes the connection, but a conversation, a seat and a talk, and being a living and breathing family.
