There is this unfathomable beauty in just being spontaneous. Most of my best life experience have been out of spontaneity. When I was younger I fancied doing fun stuff without prior planning, like waking up in the middle of the night and hitting the night club floor till 5.00 in the morning. Like taking a bus with my friends and traveling to a nearby city just to see what happens there. We would just wake and go hiking to the nearby mountain and just enjoy getting tired together. That was basically me "YOLOing" all the way. I am not that person anymore. I am not who I used to be. Funny how drastically things can change.
I realized that the older we grow the more our preferences and habits change. It's not 20 or even 10 years ago. It's just 4 years ago when I was young and wild, free-spirited and a party animal. I still like being invited and included in such things at the moment, but I can't count how many times I've wished that it rains so that I get an excuse for not going anywhere. I get so excited at the mention of an upcoming event but as the day of the event gets closer I just wanna die and resurrect the day after. So I usually call a day before to confirm if we are still on hoping against all hopes that the other person would go like..." I'm sorry I can't make it, this and this happens" only to get a ..." Please be ready at this and this time and don't cancel on me like last time" and then I just wanna dye once again. Lol.
Growing up and having commitments here and there has made me like this and bouy.. I just wanna be my old self.
So today I happened to have some good company and went on a casual date at this beautiful mall that I've never been to before. It's relatively big and obviously very busy. Human beings love strolling and to just while away, window shopping and eating out. On ther hand, this human being here is quite different. I have developed a certain hate. No hate is too strong. Let me say dislike. I've have developed this dislike for crowed places. I really love humans being. Very much. However, when humans come together and decide to be in just one place, struggling for oxygen, space to move bodies and parking lots, I kinda lose it. I lately cannot understand why people leave their comfortable and spacious houses just to come and line up to get a table in a restaurant. Crowed places just make me wanna run away. Malls are beautiful and all, but have you ever been in a mall and everything suddenly looks attractive? War unto you if you have bad shopping habits like I do. That's another reason I'm not a fanatic of strolling in malls aimlessly.
So my friend and I just spent a whole afternoon strolling in a mall. At first it felt completely awkward but looking at people's fashion and style sometimes gives me hope in life. So I got hooked and I almost became at ease. We walked around, window shopped, ate a delicious pizza in a restaurant that we first had to book and come back later(so that we don't line up like the other human beings who where lining up hopelessly and probably thinking may be next time they should just stay at home. Methinks ). Strolled again and window shopped again. Finally we discovered, or rather I discovered this secluded area(I have a very high affinity for secluded places) which felt at home. The view was amazing, the breeze was everything and most importantly, There were no human beings. Only two or three couples that were just lost in their own world. So ideally there were no people. The rest of the afternoon was just amazing since I've been just locked on my computer for ages. I haven't seen the world either. But the highlight of the day was the secluded place!
But seriously guys, pray with me. I want my sanity back. I want to be free spirit again. I want to be spontaneous one more time before Jesus comes back.
