My man loves me. I know he does. This isn’t about that at all.
I just want to be beautiful and I know he won’t have any objection to being married to a beautiful woman. And I don’t mean beautiful beautiful. I mean take care of my self enough to look decent ;)
I struggle with this often. Make-up or not? What are the correct clothing choices? How should I fix my hair? Should I really spend the time on beauty when I have my hands full being a homeschooling gandmom?
I’m not only concerned about how to find the time for beauty. It goes deeper than that. I am a Christian and I am a stickler for details. That combination makes for an interesting struggle inside me about just about everything (can you say Pharisaical Tendencies?). Physical beauty is no exception. Should I really be so concerned with this topic? Probably not. Just do it or not. It’s not the end all and be all of life. But I can’t get it out of my head. I want to be a hot woman for my man. But I don’t want to spend much time on it because my time should be spent in more “holy” pursuits. Yeah, right, like I spend my time on “holy” pursuits anyway!
At one point I thought of how I would behave if I were married to Jesus. Seriously, what if I were His literal bride? You bet your bucket that I would be beautiful for Him. No doubt in my mind that I would spend as much time as I could trying to be as beautiful to Him as I could. And yes, I’m talking about outward beauty. Jesus doesn’t deserve a rundown lady who won’t take the time to fix her hair or put on a little make up. (Of course then I got into it way too deep and realized that He wouldn’t care and that just being in His presence would give me a beautiful glow…..whatever, that just ruins my point.)
If Jesus deserves a beautiful wife, then my husband does too. What is the struggle here? Why would I think that YES for Jesus I would do it, but for my man I have to wonder if Jesus would want me to? What? If I would do it for Jesus, I should do it for my husband. And I should do whatever it takes to get it done.
So if what it takes is several hours in figuring out how to use makeup on my old face, or several hours trying to figure out a flattering hairstyle, or several hours going through my wardrobe then so be it. I will spend the time. I will make the effort. And I will feel good about it. Whatever it takes, whatever it takes, baby. Because this is one way I will love my man. This is one way I will help my man.
Now, how does one become high maintenance anyway?