I've got a couple of questions for the Democrats on this platform:
- Who are you voting for?
- Why?
The reason I'm asking you is that for the life of me I can't see a candidate that's better than Trump and has a realistic chance of winning the elections. Here's what I see as a cynical bastard:
Joseph R. Biden Jr.
A grandpa with some name recognition trying to milk the Obama's popularity for what it's worth. His positive side is that you don't know what he'll do next. Will he start a fight with corn pop? Offer you his hairy legs or start sniffing your daughter's hair?
I'd like to see him win the nomination just for laughs. Imagine him going head to head with Trump!? Comedy special, for sure.
Bernie Sanders
The biggest pussy of them all. After HRC fucked him in 2016, he went on to suck her dick. A career politician and a millionaire pretending that he's not one. He'll tell you whatever you want to hear in order to get your vote. Free healthcare? Done! Free college? Done! Free Internet? Done!
A spineless sleezeball promising free stuff for everyone.
Elizabeth Warren
A female Bernie Sanders. An ex-Republican, an ex-Native American, and all around fake person.
There's nothing about her that isn't fake and forced. She's my second favorite for getting the nomination. It would be fun to see her debating Trump.
Pete Buttigieg
I'm gay - vote for me!
In all fairness, compared to the rest of the field, he's one of the more reasonable people in this race.
Michael R. Bloomberg
I'm so rich that I'll buy the nomination!
Nothing more to add here.
Amy Klobuchar
Who?
Andrew Yang
Too young and too progressive for 2020. He does bring up valid problems and concerns (automation,...) but he's routinely ignored by the media and doesn't look like a serious candidate.
Cory Booker
I'm not gay, guys! Pinky promise!
Another fake politician and a real danger to meet in a public bathroom.
Tulsi Gabbard
She's smeared beyond repair by the media and her own party. From Assadist to a Russian asset. She's a fighter and compared to the rest even a decent person, but she's got no chance to win the nomination.
Julián Castro
The guy's still suffering from hearing that fake Latino Beto speaking Spanish. No chance to win the nomination.
Marianne Williamson
She seams like a nice person, a gentle soul, but she's pronounced crazy by the media. Her run is over.
There's some more losers in the race that didn't drop out just yet, but not worth writing about. Now, back to my questions, who are you voting for and why?