This song debuted in 1992, (you can catch it via youtube) by Garth Brooks. 30 years later it still catches my breath.
I never really was one for taking chances on things. Always just went with the flow, no matter what was going on. In my head, taking chances meant stepping out of my comfort zone. The one place I felt safest. I didn't take very many risks in life. Like many, I was scared of change, even if it meant a possible better life.
I stayed in a deadend job for almost 19 years, because I was afraid of change. Afraid of failure, and was a single mom on top of that. Sure, I had a roof over my head, and some food in our belly and a newer vehicle, but really that was not going to help me in the long run. No benefits, including anything to retire off of.
The longer I stayed, and saw that we were just a number to them, the more anxiety, depression and anger I started building on. Then, this song that I loved from the first time I heard it, came back at me like a freight train.
I had enough of being used, to help the business run. It took me 3 days to take such a huge leap, that I was willing to risk everything I had, and that is not something I do lightly. I quit that damn job, and I tell you, I have never felt such a relief, nor feel such a heavy burden taken off of me. I say this because, the day after I quit, I was given a job offer. I was so excited, that all I could do was smile. Sunday was my first day there, and it was the best decision I have made in so many years.
All those years of not wanting to take chances, to "follow that river" and get a better life for myself and my son. I have a huge supporter also, who refused to let me give up on anything. Sure, we all tell those we care about, to keep going. But sometimes it takes a different push to open our eyes to what we can become. My heart has found a new meaning, and my soul a new beginning.
I will falter I'm sure, and fall back a few times and doubt my decisions. But those will be short lived as I look more towards the future, and try my hardest to not go back in the past. I may even put sticky notes all over, to remind myself to keep eyes forward.
For all of those who are going through this as well, hang in there as hard as you can. Don't give up, or avoid taking them chances. We won't know what we can accomplish, if we don't try. Be that vessel that yearns for smoother waters!
Thank you all for reading my post. I hope you find solace in what you've read. Don't let fear keep hold of your dreams, as I did for so many years.
God bless you all. And I hope you all stay healthy.
