The music is quite good. The DJ is doing a great job and the lights drag my being to my early life, when Christmas was something worth celebrating. Now its just dark days and darker nights with no one casting a second glance. The music feels so good. It’d be a perfect night to sniff some of that good stuff.
Is it really good? Well no, but it would make me forget about my aspirations just for a couple hours. The thought of it can only send my nose an itching signal that might send the wrong message in public.
Sighs. As if anyone cares.
I hate coming out here. It makes the cravings more unbearable. Gosh! What have I done with my life? It can't go on like this...I can't go on like this. Spending Mondays as though it is the weekend. What did I even do last weekend? Can I remember? Am I sad? Is this all I can be?
I hear a number of people talk about hopes and dreams everyday, all the time but can I hope to have any? Am I destined to be destitute? Wait, did I have a date today?
Don't you think it is better for him not to have an hour-long conversation with someone who only talks to her demons? Hahahahaha...demons huh? I sound too dramatic sometimes, someone would think I needed an exorcist. Horror movie much?
Honestly, I feel like I'm being stood up. I should develop a thicker skin. I should’ve been used to this by now. Maybe I was too forward or was it my dead eyes? Daddy always said it was a man's position to ask for a date. I could not help myself. I was tired of waiting for the unwritten requests. Plus he was walking away. What could I have done?
Do I still have some in my bag? It'll calm my nerves and maybe I’d not think too much of the cold pizza under the sofa. Hopefully work won't burst my balls tomorrow. I'll try to go early for once but first...where the hell did I keep it?
If I don't see it, I’ll...oh shit he's here!
