So, I'm officially back! So I believe it is only fit that the comeback post has to be a picture of me looking back... literally. Haha!
2017 was a really strange yet fruitful year for me. Although a lot of things didn't pan out the way I wished they would, I ended up gaining wisdom and patience in return. I won't get into all the details but allow me to give you a brief summary on the main part of my roller coaster, trying-on-the-outside-dying-on-the-inside 2017.
The biggest thing I aimed for last year was graduation. I knew it was a longshot to work towards it knowing the long list of cases I still have, but you know what they say, "Aim for the moon and you'll land on the stars." I kept that in mind and stayed positive despite what others thought and said.
The daily routine was the hard part. I would wake up at 5:00am to get ready and be in school around 6:30am just to make sure I had dibs on a chair even before the clinic doors opened. I ate tocino for breakfast at school almost every morning if I had time before my patient arrived. Surprisingly, I am still not tired of it. Proudly Pinay! Haha! Kidding aside there were also the inevitable unfortunate happenings that contributed to the stress like the patient not being to come to the appointment, not enough dental chairs, the instructors not being on time to check our procedures (I'm sorry, please don't kill me. Just being real. 😂).
My parents have been very understanding of my current situation and my course, but last year I already began to sense their eagerness (in a good way) for my graduation. I felt the eagerness to give that to them as a gift. I began to feel like I was letting them down knowing that my younger brother will be graduating before me this January. Dodging the questions about graduation at family gatherings from relatives only made me feel more embarassed and we had a lot of them last year for some odd reason. Haha
All of this and more pushed me to get in my own head. I began to doubt myself, I constantly broke down, I cried a lot to my friends and boyfriend (they never heard the end of it. Haha). I felt on a daily basis that my insecurities were getting bigger while my passion and determination were shrinking.
Despite being so stressed and tired at the end of the day, with the help of great friends with gigantic hearts and my understanding family, I would wake up the next day and push myself again with the thought that it will all be worth it in the end.
I sadly didn't get to graduate last semester but with God's grace and guidance I ended the year with only 3 more cases to finish and I'm proud that I pushed myself hard enough and aimed high to accomplish that.
Looking back on 2017.... yikes, was a hot mess. Haha! Although it was one of the hardest years for me, it was a reality check. A big slap in my face that the world isn't rainbows and butterflies. I learned that things won't always go as you plan no matter how hard you try to make them happen because it isn't THE plan meant for you. THE PLAN is the bigger and better plan God has in store for you and I believe his plan for me last year was for me to grow a more patient and forgiving heart, to exercise my willpower and strengthen my positivity, and to have more faith in myself and Him.
Now, knowing how to deal with the stress and knowing that I overcame such obstacles last year, I am claiming 2018 to be my year! The year where I won't let anything get me down, the year where my positivity will radiate through the smile I will be wearing everyday, and the year I will let THE plan written for me take place. ❤
