Recently I almost fell into the mindset that life was happening to me and luckily I rescued myself.
What do I mean by life happening to me?
Well sometimes things don't go the way that we hope. We may unexpectedly get a health issue with ourselves or a member of our families, we may end up in a job that we hate but we can't leave due to others depending on us or we might try continuously at something and just keep on failing. That's what I mean by 'life happening to us'. The feeling that everything is against what we want.
WHY THIS IS UNHEALTHY
This is unhealthy because the reality is that we are responsible for a lot of the situations we put ourselves in and we are also not responsible for a lot. It is extremely important to differentiate the two.
Let's use the above examples:
- An unexpected health problem may be an issue that has been growing more worse over time but has never been looked at. The doctor then tells you that you have this condition and to you it feels like a random curse. I am not saying that a random issue could not just pop up, but most of the more serious illnesses have been gradually growing worse over time with the victim oblivious to the fact that it is there.
Here's some information from cancerresearchuk.org that backs this up:
Below are some examples of how spotting cancer early can make a real difference:
Bowel cancer
More than 9 in 10 bowel cancer patients will survive the disease for more than 5 years if diagnosed at the earliest stage.
Breast cancer
More than 90% of women diagnosed with breast cancer at the earliest stage survive their disease for at least 5 years compared to around 15% for women diagnosed with the most advanced stage of disease.
Ovarian cancer
More than 90% of women diagnosed with the earliest stage ovarian cancer survive their disease for at least 5 years compared to around 5% for women diagnosed with the most advanced stage of disease.
Lung cancer
Around 70% of lung cancer patients will survive for at least a year if diagnosed at the earliest stage compared to around 14% for people diagnosed with the most advanced stage of disease.
Early diagnosis can increase chances of survival. But improving survival rates is not just down to earlier diagnosis – ensuring patients receive the most effective and appropriate treatment for them is also an important part of the jigsaw.
- The job that you hate so bad or the job that you hate doing? Who applied for the job? Why do you go into work if you hate it? Okay, I understand that you have people or bills that depend on you having an income, but that doesn't stop you from continuing to look for better work or another stream of income. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying to leave your job if you can't afford to, I am just saying that you are partially responsible for being in the job that you are in and you are definitely responsible for finding a better source of income. Responsibility is not something we should run away from, it is something that we should embrace.
- When you feel like you're trying your hardest but your not progressing. If you are ever in this situation there are some important questions to ask yourself:
How long have I been trying to accomplish this?
Why am I trying to accomplish this?
Have I seen any improvement at all?
Becoming substantially better at something or achieving a commendable goal usually requires a lot of time and effort. From my experiences, this has always been the case and unless something crazy happens to universal law, then it will always remain this way. Of course there are rare exceptions to this, but generally 'no pain no gain' is a solid statement. This statement has helped me a lot in my life because it helped me to realise that some things I tried to gain without any pain (or considerable effort) and that's why I came short of achieving them.
This teaching actually goes as far back as the 2nd Century:
Rabbi Ben Hei Hei says, "According to the pain is the gain."
— Pirkei Avot 5:21
This is interpreted to be a spiritual lesson; without the pain in doing what God commands, there is no spiritual gain.
Remembering why you are trying so hard at whatever it is you are doing can really help too. Define an objective, it may be to prove something to yourself, improve your financial situation or maybe even to change the world! Chances are that once you remember your objective, you will feel reinvigorated and encouraged to persist. If you really can't think of a clear reason why you are persisting, then it might be worth considering whether or not your time and effort could be redirected into something else that you would like to accomplish.
Your ambitions may have changed so don't be stubborn, take a step back and with an honest heart redetermine your goals.
CONCLUSION
Life never happens to you. Your circumstance is the result of decisions that you have made and decisions that were out of your control. Understand what you are responsible for and what you are not...and be honest with yourself! Understanding this will hopefully help you to realise that you are in control of more than what you might think! Better decisions, better circumstances.
A question to leave you with:
What can you do in the next 24 hrs to improve the quality of your life?