I am sharing the reality of my story because I am sure that somewhere someone going through hardship will be inspired. I hope it will help anyone struggling right now.

First thing that somewhat shocked me in your post was the story, which so many Eastern European ex pats are familiar with: being duped in a hopeless situation, which you cannot get out of unless you are ready to lose money while people from the same country next to you, who you thought would empathize and have your back, turn out to actually be the ones who dupe you, knowing full well what they are throwing you into ("affiliate scheme"). I thought this was all more than ten years old modus operandi, but apparently it is still out there. In the UK they worked on changing laws to eradicate all those Eastern European schemes of modern slavery back in 2010, but what sort of shocks me is that after all this time they are still around elsewhere in Europe. One thing I cannot deny is how actually eye opening about one's fellow countrymen, and one's own country of origin such experiences can be. You just wouldn't believe what kind of scum people can be while appearing all nice and friendly at first glance. It turns out the well known 30 seconds of first impression can be just professionally made out to be a myth.

I look in the mirror and see my father and mother in me, I accept it now but I also realize I do not want to be like any of them... I must warn you that once you decide to change yourself you will also have to let go to many illusions, friendships and associations with people who no longer belong in your life.

TRUER WORDS NEVER SPOKEN! Those people belong to that mindset, which you are attempting to change in you. Therefore that change will naturally and inevitably alienate you, and, unless you keep your head down and don't speak up about anything, the people who are the most patriotic of that mindset will beat you up as the odd one, be that verbally, digitally or physically; that's just how they are used to deal with odd ones - it's all part of "traditional values". The thing that probably will affect you the most will be the realization that the country you thought was your homeland never really existed; so many times words coming out of people's mouths were despicable, hypocritical lies - one thing that would lead to this:

... I know how tough it was for me to realize the ugly truth that I loved an illusion.

I hope you gain more strength each day, and the Baltic Sea beaches of white sand empower and bless you every time you are there to visit them. I believe the presence of and connection to sea can help curing a person on a subconscious level. Never give up being true to yourself; there's a lot of power to be found in such approach to living life.