Hello again my friends! I do hope this finds you well. I would like to take a few minutes to share with you something I have been piecing together throughout my life. Recent events have helped me make sense of lots of things and put these pieces together, so to speak. The importance of letting things go, the virtue of serenity and acceptance.
(Image Credit: https://pbs.org )
I have been fortunate so far throughout my life. This is not so much an article about letting go of a lost loved one, although it may be of some use to those in grief as well, but it is about detachment from the material; The things in life that are not people, yet we sometimes find ourselves unhealthily or even unknowingly attached to them. Such is the scope of this work.
Most of you know of the recent super storm, hurricane Harvey. I call it a super storm, because in my 30 years of life I have never seen anything quite like it. I didn't need the news to tell me that a historical precedent was set. The rainfall that both Texas and Louisiana seen just isn't normal, or dare i say, natural.
Texas normally sees +-50 inches of rainfall each year. That is in 52 weeks, so lets say an inch a week. In a span of just a few days, some areas saw as much as 56 inches of rainfall. This is tremendous. Most people in my immediate area were quite lucky. Although we live on a lake, we didn't encounter any flooding. However, just up the road my mother had to be rescued by boat. The house she lived in along with the surrounding yard became a lake, and this was a pretty traumatic experience for her. Worst still some lost their lives. A tragedy by any measure.
I would be able to boast surviving the storm completely unscathed, however, I took advice from those who love me. They called in to tell me that I NEED to move my car, because I live RIGHT on that lake. Common sense forced me to act in accordance with this advice, and I moved my sole means of conveyance to a nearby hospital. Long story short my car is not longer with me. The ECU (computer) and all the electrical system is gone, and although I can't see a definitive fluid level where water rose, it must have been quite high, because there is water in my oil. It is a total loss. I had only limited liability insurance, so it is my loss.
Now, it almost makes sense to develop an attachment to something as important as a car. After all, it is how we go places. It is how most of us go to get the money we need to survive. Hell and they are expensive! Lots of work, time, and money go into automobile ownership. So, it kind of makes sense. Yet, in the words to come, I hope to explain to those maybe despairing as I was, why I am thankful, and why I feel more free than before even after enduring my fifth time losing things as a result of this stupid heinous weather. lol..
Wise words written by an infinitely wiser person once found their way to my eyes. They offered a truth that I never was able to forget. To paraphrase they went something like this, It really is all about perspective, sometimes all you have to do is change the way you look at a problem, and you'll realize it isn't a problem anymore.
After the storm and after making sure my mother was okay, I was devastated after going to get my car, only to realize that I no longer had one . See, I work 8 hours from my home, and this leaves little in the way of solutions when you need to take a trip this far. I work in the oil and gas industry, and have for the past decade. In the throws of the feelings brought on by this discovery, I became depressed. For a long time, I had my "shit together" and now I find myself in need of help. But from whom? We all suffered the same storm.
In the following days, I allowed myself a substantial amount of time to feel down and sorry. The helplessness was almost surreal. It felt like EVERYTHING was going wrong, and none of it was my fault. Boy, was I wrong. This storm did bring tragedy, but it also brought cleansing. Hopefully this is so for many more than myself.
The idle time gave me time to think. Once I got to where I was beginning to accept that this is where I am, and it doesn't matter where I have been, I had the most beautiful epiphany. It is almost as if in a moment I was enlightened that this isn't anything ending, but a new beginning. This realization (which i will elaborate on further) has been giving me strength ever since. Even now putting these words into a form to present to you, I am growing stronger.
See, doing my part to avoid rationalizations, there is no excuse, or even a reason. I realized how disconnected I had become. Preceding the storm, or even 2017, I had become unhappy never realizing it. I was disconnected from self, my lover 
I thought I lost a car and an income, but I regained myself and more importantly, my control over myself. I can see things more objectively. When I had a car, I rarely used it. I had money, and I wasted it. I don't want much, but didn't save. So I pissed it away. I turned to drugs for a while even, and those create more problems than they will ever solve. Crazy, right? I had to lose things to regain perspective and control over my situation.
I could use some work, but I am better because of the storm. I know that I have everything I need now. I feel secure knowing I have my power back.
Life is beautiful. I just wanted to share this with all of you.
Much love, and peace to you all!
-PP
( Edit: I am learning to better write and communicate, and in my haste forgot to mention these photos with no photo credit are of my mom and her landlord's place, not my own. I don't have any pics of my car, because i can't drive to go take one lol! So she allowed me to use hers. =) )
( Image Credit: Reuters )
