If you ask the 18-year-old Pat what she thinks her best life looks like, she'll probably give you a long checklist with the following making it on top:
I was determined to reach for the stars even if it meant giving up rest, my teenage years, social interactions, and relationships. Since I was six (6) until the age of twenty (20), I managed to stick to the formula of hard work, persistence, discipline, and determination to ensure that every single move is geared towards completing all those I've listed above. But somewhere along the way, I burned out. I started feeling that the life I've lived all these years wasn't the one I desire deep inside, that I wasn't genuinely happy. Sure, every time I give a perfect scoring test paper to my mother, I feel I'm doing what I'm supposed to do but something felt so wrong. That's when I started to sail my ship in the direction I believe will bring me peace, love, happiness, and contentment.
I realized that for two decades, I was living someone else's life; I was making my parents' dreams come through. I was just fulfilling my duties as a daughter. Although I don't regret being too kind and obedient to follow my parents' orders and I love them deeply for doing it, it was time I follow my own calling. It was time to break free.
Today, if you ask me what my best life looks like, I don't have an entire pad of paper full of a bulleted list of this and that. I don't have a rigid list of things I must accomplish first before I could say "Hey Pat, this is the best life ever! Good job, you finally succeeded!" I still do have ideals and dreams but I couldn't wait for all those dreams, all those checklists to be done before I could live my best life.
When people ask me "What's your ultimate goal, Pat?" I'll confidently answer them "To be at peace and happy!" and now, I'm surrounded with all the serenity and bliss the Earthly world couldn't give. Nothing else matters!
I realized that today, all I have is the here and now. Every single day I believe I am living the one and only life I have and therefore the best life each time. I have the power within me to create a life I wouldn't want to escape from. Each day, I live as intentionally as possible, redirecting my energy to things that matter most, things that bring me just what I wanted: peace and happiness. I could spend an entire day wishing and grinding towards the world's definition of best life and in doing so forget to live in the moment. But that's all in the past now; today's different.
