Relationships of any kind — personal, business, intimate, casual — they can be very enjoyable and a lot of fun when times are good. You’re able to agree, find common ground, get along, get to know each other. All the great things which come from a close relationship. And, then, an argument happens.
An argument is the true test of any relationship. How each party responds to the argument is the test. Anyone can argue, responding well to an argument is another matter.
How do you argue? Do you stand your ground and insist that you must be right while the other person must be wrong? Do you dig in during the heat of an argument and then look for common ground? Do you seek common ground right away? Do you just give in and then seethe about your views not being heard and honoured? Do you run from conflict and avoid it at all costs?
I find I respond differently with different people. With some people by the time an argument flairs up, there have been so many irritants, I just dig in and go for broke. Others it depends on how I value the relationship. If I strongly value the relationship, I will try to head off the argument by seeking common ground immediately. Others, I’ll let it flair and then seek common ground. Sometimes I will avoid the argument. Most often when I do, it’s because I really don’t see any value in pursuing the matter or I feel it will fall on deaf ears to even respond.
Notice the varied responses? I’m betting if you thought about it, yours would be varied too. As would how you feel about the person after the argument has come to an end.
People who can argue and then find enough common ground to affirm the relationship can draw closer in that relationship. The bonds become stronger over time. The arguments are like forging metal, the blows may test the metal but they will strengthen it. Being able to argue and then carry on with a strong relationship takes maturity and determination by both parties.
For others, each argument becomes like a corrosive substance tossed on the bonds of the relationship. Over time those drops will break down the bond and eventually break it apart. In most instances, both parties participate in tossing that corrosion. It does happen sometimes where one party sees the breaks happening and tries to rebuild the bonds. If the other person isn’t able or willing to work together to rebuild, then the distance will widen as the metal breaks down.
It happens, avoid the blame game and move on. There are other ties which will bind. It just might take time.
I love being inspired by other people’s quotes. I thought I’d start sharing some quotes that inspire me along with my own thoughts the quote evokes within me. So, think of someone, like me, sitting quietly with the first fresh coffee of the day and mediating about the words of the quote. That would be me, or it could be you.
I invite you to share your own thoughts on the quote in the comments.
If you like this series, please upvote it and share with others.
Have a great day
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