Why won't I be joyous when every day is a win, and this tremendous feeling of happiness and fulfillment continues in daily significance, as it is very vivid that everything has changed for the better? I couldn't even remember my past self again. It is said that a joyous soul can not hide its happiness even if he or she drinks a smooched bitter leaves of water that the glimpse of joyousness will still ooze out of him or her no matter what, so what is this all about?
Many years ago after high institution days, my heart was heavy and cumbersome like Olumo rock and has height like Aso rock due to pressure I put upon myself buying on society expectations, limiting beliefs, people pleasing and self comparison which created heartbreaks from betrayal which hits like a bull headbutting a goat and it makes the joyful behavior I had in me declined from average to the lowest but the only one who observed the bitterness was my younger brother who will ask occasionally if I was alright and ‘yes I am good’ was all the answer that he received every time but deep down within, all is not well and I knew he could see the hidden pain in me like a transparent ocean though I tried to hide it as he knew me and saw the drastic change within his reality as the lively act I embodied declined to the act of sleeping on the bed for half of the day and locking myself inside doing nothing.
Getting to the prime, I went inward asking myself where the happiness I embodied as a child was and decided to heal from within knowing that disappointing people isn't bad but disappointing myself is a self-inflicted tragedy just like the native statement which says that a fowl that poo and can't urinate has something hidden within its system. It was then that I knew that happiness is a state of mind and I will always be grateful till I am no more. I could feel myself back alive doing all the passion that almost die within me those years as reviver wins and why won't I call it a joy affirmating my biggest win as a teacher recalling the first day in school and the interview with the school principal in his office where I promise to elevate and prepare the students to pass an external exam’s subject which as been an issue from day one and I am very proud they came out in flying colors as years pass. Why won't I celebrate the little wins as the house I was asked to lead as the house master won the inter-house sports competition too? To crown it all, each day envelopes joyfulness in counting and in continued mannerisms living in the present.
The Wednesday before school’s vacation is a sunny day as the sun shines in its prime, and a cold breeze blows to reduce its heat. Looking down from the uppermost veranda and watching the students playing volleyball as usual and enjoying my views as they kept running, jumping, hitting, and smashing the ball. Well, it is vacation week, and I love using such time judiciously and meticulously just to ease myself. I took a chair from the veranda and sat at a convenient spot. I was engrossed in enjoying myself when I heard a voice. “Good day, sir,” I heard repeatedly, and I switched my concentration to track where the voice came from and saw a worrisome student of mine so to speak. “ Oh, Jahswill, morning, good to see you today and what can I do for you?” I answered, looking at him and noticing that he was bothered about something.
“Sir, I am confused about something, and I wanted to share a view from your perspective,” he answered abruptly.
“Okay, go get a seat and let's see how it goes,” I replied, knowing that Jahswill is an inquisitive type even in class, he does the same.
“Master, why are you always happy and in a joyous state every time and every day, even though life is unfair and things can't be great every time?”. He inquired.
“Ha ha ha Jahswill”, I laughed, knowing that he did not buy the idea of inward happiness and believed it should be externally inclined,, maybe celebrating something or winning a jackpot, so I see he only wanted a debate, and I threw the question back to, him, believing he knew what I didn't.
“What did you think about being joyous even though you have nothing to celebrate?” I asked jokingly.
And he answered, “ Sir, after making enquiries, I was told that we should not be too happy or too sad in any situation because things can change anytime in a vice versa,” and I knew where that was coming from, so I replied.
“We are here on this earth to feel deeply, be it happiness or sadness,” and I called his attention to change the topic to look down at the ongoing volleyball game, which was very interesting. “Isn't the view beautiful?” I asked optimistically.
And he replied, “Sir, it is, but we also should not get lost in whatever happens in our present reality due to deep feelings,” he noted as he tried to lure me back to the conversation, so I called the shot with an illustration to pull his legs and pull him off.
“Listen, Jahswill, set yourself at peace and ease will juxtapose to joyfulness”. I said using the statement intentionally like that to make him go back to the drawing board and he replied saying “Sir, I couldn't comprehend your statement as it sounds like parables” and I just looked at him knowing I got him where I needed and smile then I replied, “sometimes, what we don't know supersedes you and me so why not go do a research on that and we can continue this discussion another day but for now, all I knew is that this joyous mood just begins” I concluded and I asked him to have his space as I need to stay alone and enjoy the time being that even the devil can't strip it away.
Thanks for reading.
