Hello beautiful people.
A monatery got 2 new months.
There was a rule that the monks could only speak 2 words every 5 years for a period of 20 years except for prayers, emergency communication and essential communication. After the 20 years, they will learn to master their words, their emotions and they would have undergone a lot of training, if they could survive for the 20 years, the rule would no longer apply to them.
The monastery had 2 masters, let's call them Master A and B. At the end of 5 years, both monks, let's call them monk A and B, were asked to go and see the two masters.
Monk A met Master A and was asked to say his 2 words. Monk A said "Food's bad." Master A said "that too bad, well just manage".
Monk B met with Master B and was asked to say his 2 words. Monk B said "Food's bad." Master B said "That's what we have, if you can improve it, please do."
Monk A went back and managed.
Monk B went back, thought of how to improve the food and found a way and implemented it with the approval of the master. It benefitted Monk A.
When it was 10 years,
Monk A said "Bed's Hard"
Monk B said the same thing and his master encouraged him to find a solution and he did, Monk A benefitted from it.
When it was 15 years,
Monk A said "There's Cold" his master said, "You are always complaining". Monk B said the same thing and his master told him to find a solution and he did. Monk A benefitted from it.
When it was 20 years,
Monk A said nothing, he didn't both going to see the master, he only went to Monk B and said "I'll help." and Monk B replied "Thank you."
They were known as the two monks who changed the history of the monastery.
Complaining is a form of communication that can have both positive and negative effects on relationships and interactions.
Complaining can be a way to express dissatisfaction and bring attention to unmet needs or CONCERNS. Complaining can prompt others to listen and work together to find SOLUTIONS. Complaining can provide an EMOTIONAL RELEASE, helping individuals process and manage their FEELINGS.
Nobody just wakes up and complains.
Something always happens that leads to complains.
Feedback is stage 1. - it is simply the first time an issue is reported for correction or discussion. When feedback is not taken, it leads to stage 2.
Complain is stage 2. - as defined above is expressing displeasure towards unchanged behavior and it is actually a sign of deep care, people who do not care do not complain. When complains are ignored, it leads to stage 3.
Withdrawal or Nagging is stage 3 - Nagging is repetitive pestering, harassment, and verbal disturbance which can include snide remarks, hurtful insults and emotional damage due to an unpleasant feeling towards being ignored and unchanged behavior that has continued for a long time. Nagging can be
Changed behavior means someone stops doing something they usually do and starts doing something new instead. This can happen because they learned something new, got feedback from someone, or just decided to make a change.
For example, imagine someone who always shows up late to work. But then they start coming on time every day. That's a changed behavior.
It can also happen in personal relationships. Like if someone is always critical of their partner, but then they learn to communicate in a kinder way. That's a changed behavior too. It can be when asked to do things in certain ways and the person listens and begins to do them.
So, changed behavior is just when someone makes a change in how they act or behave. It's like they're trying something new, and it can make their life and relationships a lot better.
Complaining is one of the things that affect our wiring and our mindset.
As much as it is not so easy to see things go wrong and not want to talk about them, IT'S NOT better to just let them be.
You must learn to give FEEDBACK and when your feedback is ignored, you should Complain but you must watch it so that your complain doesn't lead to NAGGING. It is always better to WITHDRAW from whatever you have complained about so you have peace.
The truth is the more you complain about a person or something that person does, the less your chances of being blessed by that person, the more you complain about your work place, the less enjoyable the environment will be to you. The more you complain about your spouse, the more of you will feel wronged.
Does this mean you should not give feedback? Does this mean you should not complain?
The truth is, if we continue to turn blind eyes to wrongdoings, we can never get it right. We will end up resenting that person in the name of just letting everything go without complaining. Most of the worst relationships and marriages comes from keeping quiet about everything and just allowing things to go on, meanwhile both parties are hurting until they finally explode. The worst thing about bottling up is that, the day you finally decided to explode, it is always dangerous and deadly. It may even be the end of the relationship or friendship or partnership or whatever it is that is shared.
Some people have created a defence mechanism or strategy, they will say complaining affects them but they don't want to change.
They do that and their partner or whoever it is they do it to is hurt beyond words. A gap will be created in their relationships.
While you are there, remember no one is perfect and be accommodating but don't let yourself get into resentment before you withdraw if the people refuse to change. If you can quit the relationship and have rest of mind, do it.
Your job is a temporary arrangement, learn to live with it, complain where necessary and if you can quit and move on to something else do it.
Always choose to see the beautiful side of things, this is the beautiful way to live, if you see that you can't do that, withdraw or quit for your sanity.
A good mindset, breeds a beautiful life.
