Remember the first time I liked you, when I was just in high school, this might seem almost the same as the story in a movie that I often watched "a little thing called love" ... But it only looked a little. Because what happened between me and you is not a film or story line that is deliberately made in such a way. What happens between is destiny.
In my memory, there are still those feelings and all the events that have happened. I don't know for you?
I remember, it was the third day of mos. Maybe on the first and second day we haven't met yet. But on the third day, closing time. It is our job for new students to ask for autographs for seniors. And that's where I first saw you. Hmm ... Seeing your smile I was so excited by myself. Though I know that smile is not for me but for everyone. Never mind the important thing is your signature is ready. That's all that was in my mind after that.
And, I always pass some time to see you. Somehow I admire you that much. Secretly I often notice you play volleyball, when you hang out with your friends laughing. You are also famous for being smart in your lessons, smart in guitar, good in sports, good and friendly to everyone.
Maybe you're really too kind ?.
One day I saw you go home with a local friend with me. And investigations have been investigated I became curious, I asked my friend where you live. Uh, I don't know, apparently you're in the same village as my friend. I started to close my friend earlier. I have also been asked by friends whether I have a boyfriend or not, I said not yet. But I'm close to someone, when my friend asked me which child I like, I also slipped. I already said child 1 village with him. He was even curious and asked his name ... Well, (I'm dead). I'm nervous and spontaneously just call it by another name. Huff ... Luckily he did not know the name carelessly that I mentioned earlier. So he doesn't ask much anymore?
But not long after, after a few days I hear you have invented with my classmates. But you don't know I'm disappointed, and no one knows. Only, at that time I remembered one thing. Maybe that girl really deserves you. Because she's beautiful and you guys are good together. My hopes are dashed. But I can still breathe. Because of this feeling no one knows, if my friends know I'm dead then teased ?. Congratulations sis, good luck. That's the last word I might be able to say at the time.
Time flies. But, the changes that occur are not so great. More and more days I see you more often. Moreover, the sports field which is located is close to my location. Hmm, I still admire my senior? because every exercise my view did not escape from you. And one day, I accidentally saw T, your girlfriend's initials with another guy. Somehow my feelings are so sick, even though I am not one of you. But not long after that incident I heard you broke up. I don't know exactly when you broke up because of what. But somehow, I feel happy. I do not expect destruction in your life. I'm just glad you're separated from girls like her.
The days that I went through were neither too good nor too bad. Because thank God, my school grades at that time were quite good, maybe because my way of learning was also more than junior high. That's all I know. But often too, I'm sad when I remember the days of my friendship in middle school that I did not see again when I entered high school.
Quiet, no attention, of course also one of my obstacles at the time. Until finally I was determined to want to date. And, one of the students in class XII IA shot me. I should be happy because you who I admire have been in that class. But, unfortunately the one who likes me is not you but your friend. I am disappointed. But I can't do anything, I don't see your response to me. What I thought was that you didn't like me. Until finally I received him (your friend) with half my heart. But, I promise in my heart if this is the best for me, I will live it with all my heart and make him happy.
Since going out with him, I started to know you and his friends. Until one of my friends becomes your friend's girlfriend too. But, my relationship with him is not so good, he is very shy and not gentle to a guy. When I was dating, he was also escorted by 10 of his friends to my local .. Huu, I was so embarrassed. Until finally we broke up (me and him)
Well, this is the beginning I started to know you. Long story short, at that time Sis Fino called me at recess. At that time I walked alone with my friend. Right in front of the library he stopped me. I was shocked, moreover he said he wanted to talk alone with me. Alamak, where was my mind? I think he has nothing else with me. Hihi ?. But it turns out he just wanted to greet greetings from his friends. Send regards? Of whom? I was shocked at that time, but never mind I said. I know for sure from Sis Andi (my ex, friend and friend). I want to pass. but stopped again. Not the word, but from Riko. Ooh ... Huh! I changed, I became excited. I ask again Riko where? He answered Riko Herlando. Tearing ... Really arrived, Sis Fino was laughing, he said, my face turned red. I really feel like it's a dream. I said that I still didn't trust Brother Fino. Well, greetings I say while passing. Hmm ... How happy is my heart at that time?
And, that night you texted me. I really felt like I was in another world. In the most beautiful place. I'm really sure after you said, if you don't believe it, we will meet tomorrow. So surely I am very happy. In fact, I want to replace the night soon if possible. Hehe
Since meeting you, text you and call. Since then we began to get along, even we often sing together. The thing that I will never forget when I sing the song "only a memory" to the anggi but you who cry because of that song, actually I sing it from my deepest heart for you. I don't know, we are indeed of one heart.
The first time you shot me (7 March 2008, official 8 March 2008), I was nervous, I was afraid your friends would get angry. But, you always try to calm me down. That's what makes me love you more. Finally I accept you to be my girlfriend, after you said. You have asked permission from Andi and your other friends to support. There I know how serious you are.
We live everything with feelings of love. Until I know, it turns out as much as you like, many also do not like our relationship. Remember these words "wolf in sheep's clothing". What someone threw at you. of course because he doesn't like us. But, we stay together. It's not just you who feel the bad effects, I do too, I'm not greeted anymore by the seniors who were once close, scolded by the teacher.
Oia, I almost forgot one thing ... Before we get really close, you always get excited going to my place to take a hiatus. Moreover, fitting in the local while watching me. Hadduh, how keki I was at that time. I often teased friends while they pretended to cough. Izz ... I'm being shy?
Well, time passes. We invented. Many beautiful things that I passed with you. Even so, we often pass the grief of life together. Maybe this is what is called love.
I forgot what date and day exactly. Me and my friends will go scout, I forget it's not a jamboree but the like. Before leaving you sing the song "It's enough" for me. Only the reff part. I was so touched because I knew you sang it with all my heart. How much I love you. Until finally I left and left you for a while. You know, along the way, my mind was just 1. Only one face of you and your heart dancing in my mind. There is a sense of sadness when I part with you, there is also a sense of happiness, because I know you also love me very much. That's what I feel.
But to my surprise, you and your friends came to my place scout. And I still remember, I will not forget. I asked, why are you willing to go so far? You say 'it's because you miss me too much'. The same thing that I feel. Not enough there when you have returned you also often call me. So serious you are with me. I love you very much too
Too many happy memories that we passed together, maybe no longer can be expressed with the words on this paper. I just want to always remember it and never forget it. That's what I hope for you too. I want you to always remember it, even though now you are gone and that time will not repeat itself, even if it is a piece.
Sis, do you know how much I miss you .. Miss the good times with you. When we play to the villa, walk together, eat together, to Alahan Panjang, to the hill of the villa, to the hot spring baths where kak Andi, at the same time Relva too. And that was the first time you ... me, I slapped you and we fell off the motorbike, hufft ... there are many more incidents that will not be forgotten in this memory about us. I also really remember when we played in the panorama. And there we promised each other we wouldn't disappoint each other and until we made an 'oath'. (until now there are things that regret me here, with this oath), and then we go to play in Solok, take a walk in the city of Padang and you also promise to take me for a walk around UNAND, which may forever be a promise ... no has it ever come true ?, when we get a bad experience between the stones. I hate them !! Hufft ... Remember the school days, that morning we were umbrella together, he ... And we always write diaries to express our hearts, a time that I have never gone through to this day. Oia, we first invented playing computer together at Mr. Febri's place, and you kept watching me when I got home until I was completely invisible to you. You really care about me. Then the first time you held my hand and waist when taking pictures. I know you were really nervous at that time. There is indeed the most beautiful place I have ever visited with you. There is a river with a forest background, very natural. I want to go there again, but who knows who? Even though at that time we left, we ran away from a group of football supporters, we went all four of us. Me, you, Mitha and brother Abi. when I remember this, I smile to myself. Hehe, Talanga Bungo River ... Uh, I forgot the name of the place. Ckck
Hmm ... Not only that, you have also been to my house. I know, you are the first boy who came to my house and dared to ask permission from mother to invite me to walk. You are indeed a true and responsible guy. That incident is the moment of acceptance of your graduation and finally we go our way. That's when I first gave you a gift and a letter. But now, that letter has returned to me. And certainly not like before. The letter has been replied. From you. I am sad, because I know that when you have gone forever.
And, you know, my most memorable birthday is being with you. Because at that time we believed it on a white reef. All that time was the first time I was having a birthday with my own girlfriend. And that was the happiest day for me. As happy as I can get to know you. After the blowing of the candle and singing on the birthday, we also play the cake slice and in the end take a shower while taking photos. When you returned, you gave me a present that I finally found out was the clothes. When giving gifts, there were indeed many friends who did not know, because they had gone ahead. I know you want to say something or what. But, I'm nervous, I just took the gift, asked for my thanks and immediately invited you to go upstairs. I'm just afraid you will kiss me or something. Hehe, my feeling. But really, I'm not ready for that.
Maybe when with you, even for a moment but it was very memorable and I think there are many beautiful things that we live than bad. Remember again, when the tour de Singkarak danker program at that time we played to the villa. We meet Sis Warti. And we went out together. At that time we bought pop corn and sparring who ate the most. Hehe, it turns out you're greedy than me .. Hehe, then we also ride the windmill. At that time I was really scared, but you always tried to get rid of my fear. You always try to make me brave. And finally I gave up and followed you want to ride the game. And, in fact I still could not beat my fear. I often close my eyes and hold you tight when the game is getting tighter and tighter. Eh, the room just laughed, seeing me scared like that. Hmm ... Our experience. Now I never follow tour de singkarak. I don't know what the event is like.
Memories with you too much and meaningful for my life. Because from there I understand with the word love, the importance of sacrifice in a relationship. I also often sulk because of you or you're angry at me for being jealous. But that did not last long. Until finally we did find a big problem in our relationship. It all started when you started college and left me who was still in the village, because at that time I just went up to class XI. Many say that if a person has just graduated from college, he will definitely meet new people and not close down, then city people are more perfect than villagers. I am also increasingly affected by words like that since you have begun to rarely contact me and rarely go home. If asked, your reasons are often complicated. Over time I became changed, the love that used to be large gradually began to erode because of jealousy and suspicion exceeds the size of my body? I mean greater than my love and love.
Until what happened that night. I was texted by your friend A, he indeed had a crush on me even earlier than you. But I never liked it, so I never received it. But, the text that night, he said he wanted to meet me, even for the last time. Because he will also go far away he said. Stupidly somehow because I deliberately, I even asked your permission. Though I know, our relationship had started to deteriorate also at that time. When you told you, I was surprised by your answer. Because at that time you allowed me to meet him, actually you already gave me an understanding. I was the only one who at that time was also a little upset with you. Until you finally let me meet him.
This is the beginning of the destruction of our relationship. That morning I had no intention of going to see him (A), but he didn't know when he came home from school, only a short walk to my house. I got a text from you and its contents ... really disappointing. You said you want to find a new girlfriend in the field with your own reasons that do not have a girl there. You want to be like your friends, if weekly nights can go out and meet his girlfriend. And of course I know this is the most difficult for me to take it for granted. Sakittt ... Really this heart feels. But I can not do anything. Finally, 180 degrees I immediately changed my mind and I met the A earlier. Although only with a heart that is forced and sick. With the A, I don't want to tell what happened .. Because it was so bad in my life.
At night you still text me. Another feeling I read your sms. Because I know you texted me at that time, just forced and maybe just to insinuate me. But I'm still honest with you. Because deep down, I just love you. I want our relationship to be okay. But, indeed destiny has said otherwise. I didn't know what I should do.
And the bad experience really makes our relationship break. That night you texted me with words that I never thought you would say to me. I was devastated. Two texts with the contents of the two screens you send at 12 pm. Maybe that's when I was truly satisfied cursing myself. I just paused to read your text. There's nothing I can say, my tongue feels numb, my body is weak and helpless. I really don't believe it. Only tears spontaneously flowed down my cheeks. I was devastated, my life was ruined, that's the only feeling left for me.
I never texted you back, because I didn't know what to say. A little wrong, maybe you will hate me for life. Finally the days that I went through were only sad and crying. But I always covered it up from my friends. I don't want them to know how hurt my heart is. In front of them I always look tough and happy. Only a few of my friends know what my true heart is like. Until one day I cried and intended to die, because I was no longer able to with my broken feelings. And I texted Intan. He immediately came and met me who was at that time in a state of extraordinary despair. He tried to calm me down. But, there is a sense of regret that I felt, long after that incident. Intan asked for your phone number to me, and indeed after a few days you also apologized to me. I'm a little relieved, because slowly our relationship began to improve. It's not as good as before.
If you remember between you, me and Intan. I still hate it. For some reason, I never liked him. Especially since I knew you had called him with the word dear. Huft ... What a betrayer a friend. Think my heart. I know, and am well aware that I am not a good friend either. I know Intan was envious at that time because of Aci. But anyway I still maintain the truth in my opinion. I have nothing to do with Aci. And anyways, I also knew that they had nothing to do with it, and then they were pedekate. Why does he have to be jealous of me. I also know Aci first than him, I deserve to be closer to him than Intan. Uh, he used you instead for my manasas. That's what I hate the most from him. Because of that, until you close your eyes, I can't be as close as you used to. Because you seem to trust people who I hate more than myself. Often things that I fear become reality and that's what makes me really traumatized.
But, I'm still sure you still love me. Even though it's just a little. Why? Because of the way you like to call me secretly or encourage me on exam day. Even with a cold attitude. But I am how caring you are. Thank you for that, sis ...
And, telephone, sms, our last. That's what happened in the time before my graduation. I called you because my friend told me you shot him. Somehow there was a feeling that I could not accept at that time and I decided to call you. After you tell me everything, including you not be with him. I just understood and that's when I said it was our last call. I didn't think of anything. And I also don't know if it turns out it has indeed become our last phone call, the last time for our lives. Likewise with sms, I said the last sms and indeed become our last sms in the world. Until finally you leave forever. Everything was regretted, even though my regrets also had no meaning anymore.
Until Monday, Intan texted me, saying you had an accident. My mind was really and really did not believe and I really felt helpless again after I called your number and adopted your friend who was both in an accident with you. I spontaneously cried uncontrollably. Want to be angry, want to scream, but I don't know. I really like being in another world. My heart is melting. God, why should you? You have to accept all that. There are still so many people who need you. Especially your parents. Huffft ... What can I do. This is your destiny.
The next day I visit you, I see you just stay in there. You just stay quiet. Your body is stiff. Far away with Riko that I used to know. Sis, softly my heart witnessed you lying weak helpless there. I was weak, I could not cry sobbing and your mother who made me a little calm. Seeing him so strong. In my heart, I keep screaming, you have to survive. You still survive! But, God wills another. Only an hour less I was from the hospital, intending to wash it first in the boarding house. But, I received a call from your sister. That is the climax. I want to die I feel. I went straight back to the hospital. And what I found. You really have been gone forever. Cold ... Once I feel your body, there is no more warmth there. Until my tears can no longer come out. I really don't believe me. My body feels different. But it is not a dream. Closing, I kissed your forehead and that was the last time I could be that close to you. I was devastated, but I must be able to let you. Because I know, there is a better life there for you.
Now, everything has happened. There is nothing else I can do for you. Except always sending prayers for you. I hope you always calm by his side. That's all I can hope for. I feel guilty for having wasted our love in the past. But now what can I do. We are already in a different realm. Goodbye Sis. Whatever happens you will still be my first love ... The first person who really made me understand the true meaning of LOVE.
Forgive all my fault sis, you are the light there. Because you are the best person I've ever known and not just me. All your friends, your family here also feels that. We always pray for you. We'll miss u forever ...
Goodbye Sis dear Riko ...