Responsibilities are a big part of African homes and they can be mentally and physically draining. For instance, the first daughter becomes the second mother from a young age and has to grow up early and start doing things she shouldn’t do until later or the only male child suddenly has a lot of pressure on him from a young age, pressure to be his own man and make money, pressure to get married early and take care of the family name, pressure on how to live his own life and the list goes on and on and on.
I see a lot of girls wishing they were boys, if only they knew what was going on in every boy's head they would be careful what they wish for. I guess the saying “Don’t judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes” is pretty accurate.
I grew up in a family of 6, I have 3 sisters and I must tell you growing up was tough for me. I did everything a guy was supposed to do and everything a lady was supposed to do.
I wasn’t allowed to leave the kitchen while my mom was cooking, she’d always say “you must know how to cook, no woman will use food to do shakara (pride)for you” at that time, I saw it as a punishment because even when my sisters were not helping out in the kitchen, I must be there always.
To add to that, every morning I’ll wash my dad's car while my sisters were doing nothing.
“Emeka are you done washing the car,” my dad asked calmly from the balcony.
“Yes sir” I replied.
Today was one of those days I couldn’t wait for the admission list to come out so I could leave this house.
I hated it here, I was always swamped with chores while my sisters did nothing. The expectation from me was too much, then I was granted 5 minutes of happiness when I was given admission into the university.
I was so happy to leave the house thinking it would ease my then problems but instead it became worst.
“Ring ring” my phone rang loudly.
I answered the phone without checking the caller.
“Are you ok” the voice I can never forget replied.
“Good morning sir,” I said to my father.
“How are you,? Where are you? I hope you are not outside “ my father asked me a series of questions.
“I am fine sir, and I am in my room” I replied.
My dad was seriously trying to control my life, even with the distance between us. And this continued until my final year in the university when I finally had enough and I told him off.
It was seen as a sign of defiance in the family but I couldn’t give two fucks. I had to work for everything I had, but my sisters got theirs on a platter of gold some from me also.
“Emeka,” my dad said to me in his study.
“Yes sir” I replied.
“Do you know why I have always been hard on you and not on your sisters?” He asked.
“No sir” I replied.
“You are a man my son and nothing good ever comes easy to a man but as a woman, you can get things easily all your life. But as a man, you have to work for everything. And I didn’t want you to depend on me I wanted you to be your own man and I am glad you are your own man now
