If your life is as chaotic as mine, and you want to start your year right, how about simple steps to accompany you every day on your journey to a much better year? I tried it, and wanted to share! Let me know how it goes and what you think.
1- Make honest jars
Get two Mason jars per family member, including children. Tape each two together, labeling each pair with names as needed. Get some blue and yellow paper (or whatever colors work for you). Cut into small squares and use yellow for happy thoughts or accomplishments and blue for sad thoughts or grievances. Parents, If you have small kids who don't write yet, notice what makes them happy/sad/act out and take turns in including those as well. Empty jars every Sunday and share. Be sure to truly listen, hug, and do your best to recognize others' efforts and help address their grievances to the best of your ability.
2- Mean the words you say, everyday.
"Good morning my love". "Good afternoon honey". How was school (like you mean it, actually sitting down looking at your kids with a minute of undivided attention). How was work? (With a hug and a real kiss, looking into each other's eyes, caring).
Good night.
Don't just say the words, mean them. There will be a time when those words may be the last words a family member will ever hear. And even if they aren't, your family is worth the little bit of extra time for you to convey the true essence of your words, the way you actually feel.
It is worth the effort. Mainly because it will come right back to reward you.
3- Give space, Take space
Make your needs heard. They matter because you do. Don't sweep your wants under the rug of other family members' demands or perceived constant responsibilities. You ARE a good parent by getting a sitter and going on a date with your partner or spouse, no matter how small the baby is. Make yourself do it. You ARE a good wife when you schedule a trip with your friends or family, or simply take time alone to clear your mind. It could be hours or days doing what you like, want, love. People aren't the only pieces that complete us, our passions and preferences and do too. Make space for yours, make space for your partner's and your children's. When it gets hard to fit all of the above in a slot, don't shy away from getting help or asking for help. Balancing life will bring you back with batteries recharged, ready to be the best version of yourself.
4- Upgrade to Delegate!
Do it. Perfection is not only overrated, it is all-consuming and can be as toxic as letting go can be rewarding. Let go of wanting to please everyone, let go of the pressure of wanting to get too much done and shoving it in too little time. Tired of spending hours vacuuming? Get a (insert robot brand here as well as advertisment- pitch this to company). Split the time gains between personal relaxation, catching up on something you've been wanting to get done for a while, and quality time with your loved ones!
5- Implement the 5X3
Take 5 minutes in the morning for mindfulness meditation, 5 minutes at lunch time to stretch with eyes closed, away from work, away from the stress and the colleagues, and focus your thinking on one particular happy, joyous memory with your spouse, partner, or kids. Let it overwhelm you. Let it make you smile, allow the happiness and the bliss to be reconstructed and relived all over again. Forget all worries... And take 5 minutes before bed with your body, or your partner's. Either soak your feet in hot water, get a foot or neck massager (insert product here), or take turns every other night giving a massage/getting a massage. Picture the stress leaving your body. Picture the bond strengthening, of self love or love of your partner. It works if you work it!
