Except you're a superhuman, we all struggle with the fear of something. There is the fear of failure. The fear of death. The fear of rejection. The fear of water. The dread of the dark. Fear of not measuring up. The fear of almost anything.
Every time someone brings it up around me, I attempt to avoid it. The rationale is not far-fetched. It makes me think of all the things that terrify me. You've probably had the same experience.
Fear does not discriminate between gender, age, skin color, social status, bank account balance, or nationality. What matters is not whether we fear (it's a natural component of being human), but how we cope with it.
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My greatest fear used to be the fear of death. But losing my only sister sort of changed all of that. Now, what terrifies me the most is the loss of a loved one. Dealing with my sister’s passing has to be the most difficult thing I ever dealt with up to date.
I understand that death is inevitable, but I’m still one of those who wish their parents could live for as long as possible. I don't ever want to go through the sleepless nights, gut-wrenching cries, inability to eat, and rage I felt when my sister passed, again.
Heck, I do not even want to talk about it. There’s also the fact that I almost lost my mind and had to be injected so I could at least fall asleep after a few days of not being able to. The pain of losing a loved one never really goes away, and I do not have the capacity to deal with such again. Not right now, at any rate.
Secondly, the fear of marrying wrong. The continuous mentions of failed marriages, domestic violence sometimes leading to the murder of a spouse, the ‘breakfast’ stories happening all over have instilled in me a phobia of marrying wrong. Little wonder I’ve stayed single quite some time.
There are several reasons for this, one of which is that I am terrified of getting my heart shattered again. The stories of broken marriages on social media are appalling.
Even relationships that I admire from a distance end up failing after projecting happiness for years in the social space. Growing up, I saw my parents grow in and out of love every now and then.
There were moments when they weren’t more than flatmates to me. I couldn’t understand how people could go from a hundred to a zero real quick. My parents are doing perfectly okay today, but I have not moved on from what I experienced in the past.
How can individuals go from being all loved up to cheating, hitting, or murdering the ones they pledged to love till ‘death do us part. I want to live a long and happy life with the man of my dreams, filled with so much love, rather than the other way around,
Third, I'm frightened of failure. People say failure is an avenue to learn from your mistakes and be better the next time. But, I have no clue how to get over it; all I know is that I don't want to fail at anything, career, love, or anything else.
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As a result, when I fail at anything, I lose all motivation to try again. I immediately retreat into my shell fearful that if I tried again, I would fail.
Lastly, there's the fear of not being enough. This has to do with my sense of inadequacy in a number of situations. For a job opening for instance, even when I was recommended by someone who knows me. This is perhaps the most limiting factor in my life right now.
At the end of the day, the fear we feel is, either revealing our own limitations or teaching us about something we need to conquer. How we deal with it is up to us.
Please tell me: What are your greatest fears, and how do you deal with them?