Growing up I had my own fair share of struggles and bullies so when I look at myself in the mirror today, I can't help but admire how far I have come honestly. In all fairness, this is all because Barrister Maureen and Barrister Tessy turned my life around.
When I was about 13, the secondary school I attended organized a seminar that would forever be the day I received a brain reset. I do remember that I was a slightly chubby kid in primary school through my early years in Secondary school.
I remember that I was called ‘big head’ by so many people, and it really hurt me, even though I couldn't understand why. Trust me, now I do, lol. My head was actually big for my body size now that I think of it. These days, I just say it was that big because I had too much sense for a girl my age. Quite understandable seeing that I was always amongst the best students in class.
There’s also the fact that I was quite hairy but it didn’t matter until a close friend had told me that I looked like a wolf, better still a man. Being the people pleaser that I was, I took her advice to shave it all off hurting myself repeatedly while doing so because I didn't exactly know how to use a shaving stick. So, my newly scrapped legs had cuts and bruises here and there, I hated my legs before, and I hated it even more because of this.
There were so many things I started to hate about myself because I allowed the opinion of people get to me. I hated my legs because they were too hairy. I hated my lips because someone had called me ‘Kpomo’ stating that they were too big, I never wore armless clothes because someone had told me I had Christian mother arms(oversized)).
I thought my nose was too small because my friend had told me I looked like I couldn't breathe. There was also the ‘Four corner head’ friends and relatives would call me stating that I had a box-like head and an oversized forehead.
All of these coupled with already existing bullies in class would push me into a black hole of self-loathe in the end. Everything I was, everything I looked like, I despised such that it became so bad that I never walked with my head raised high.
I became so self-conscious and so ashamed of everything about myself so you’d always find me looking at the ground whilst walking or speaking to people for fear that they would judge me for my looks. Ordinarily, all these should make a girl as young as I fail woefully at her studies, but that wasn’t me. I turned to my books because that was seemingly the only place I never got trolled or bullied, hence, I excelled in my studies.
My self-esteem was shattered beyond comprehension, my opinion of myself was so shallow. I blamed my parents for not doing enough to make me look better. I cried in class a couple of times, I would cry to bed at home. Heck, I hated myself for looking or sounding the way I did. Look at me now, loving myself to pieces!
The night of that life-changing experience, I stood unclad before a mirror in the bathroom, and I realise that I looked way better than I gave myself credit for. My hairy legs, my supposedly small nose, my oversized lips, my big head all started to fit in. For the first time in a while, I actually loved the sound of my voice. This was me falling in love with me again.
I can’t begin to tell you the exact words they said in the seminar because it was a really long time ago, but I tell you this for free-YOU ARE ENOUGH. If you're not convinced, listen to I AM WOMAN by Emmy Neli.
I do not know where these women are today, what I do know is I would never forget them, and I will continue to share this story for as long as anyone cares to listen.