After my wedding, I received several pieces of advice from many strong women but there is one that has stayed with me till this day and I still live by it.
Two days after my wedding, one of my in-laws, the wife of my mother-in-law’s immediate brother called me. She said, “Ade, hold on to this advice I am about to give you. It will help you in your marriage.”
Here is what she told me:
Never speak when your mother-in-law reports her siblings to you.
She said, "No matter what happens, don’t utter a word beyond ‘It is well, ma.’ One day, when peace returns, your words might be used against you.”
Never rely too much on anyone from your husband’s family.
“Don’t report your husband to anyone from his side not even me,” she said. “They can never love you more than their son.”
Settle every argument before going to bed.
“No matter how serious the issue is, make peace before you sleep. Once you wake up, let it go. Start the day fresh and filled with love.”
Be a supportive wife.
“Always ensure your husband eats from home. If he must leave early, pack his meal. Don’t give room for those ‘toothpick ladies’ to cook for him,” she laughed.
Then she added a Yoruba proverb ‘Ona ofun lo na orun’ meaning, ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’
Don’t let your husband kill your dreams.
“If a man truly loves you, he will support your purpose. He met you with your dreams, don’t let marriage make you forget them.”
Till today, that advice has guided me like a compass. Whenever things get tough, I remember her words and I am grateful for the wisdom of that strong woman.
