We are all humans and one way or another we have been wronged or hurt by someone, either your close person or family member or maybe just a stranger that you don't really get on with, it's a natural thing that you seek a closure. But many time when we seek closure, our desires for closure will lead us to inflict pain on Others.
But let's really come to think about it, is Hurting Someone else a healthy way to Heal from our pains, or perhaps it cause more harm than good?
One thing I know is that, whenever we inflict more pains on others, you yourself will be drawn into the Endless pit of hurts, it is just like a Viscous cycle of Hurt and Retaliation, which I believe will lead to further conflicts and emotional draining drama 馃槀.
I stay in Benue state, I am seen many occurrence happening in some communities which is caused by people not having a forgiving spirit but instead they seek for vengeance, the aftermath is always destructive and barbaric. The result of people seeking revenge and retaliation instead of forgiveness or Peaceful resolutions is what causes more conflicts, bloodshed, damaged relationships and Long term Trauma.
So I there one village around in My Local Government Areas, that has been battling with conflicts and unrest for years, when I asked about the cause of the conflict, they told me it was a land conflict, that started during the time of their forefathers. This war between two neighbouring communities, and the most astonishing part of this whole saga was that the two communities are from the same family and then one family claimed too much of the farm land and that was how the fight started, each year they fight each other and kill some numbers of people.
I was so dumbfounded when I heard about the issue, what was running through my mind was why the elders then didn't attend to the issue and bring a lasting solution. Worst part is that even the Government are not doing anything on the issue, according to them the Fight is a family fight, and that the Elders of the Land should call themselves to order and bring peace to the two communities.
Just this Year Alone, more than 15 people have been killed between the two communities.
The use of pain as a means to achieve closure is a very bad and unhealthy coping mechanism.
Although it may provide a temporary relief or some satisfaction but this can lead to more Harms, in fact just like the story about the two communities, the two of them fighting themselves will not truly Heal or have that peace.
Regardless of the situation, it is always advisable not to pay Evil with Evil, Some time being kind to people can change their hearts and make them a better person. People that choose the path of Vendetta usually end up more miserable.
To me personally I believe in Jesus Christ Teaching of Forgiving those who have sin against us. forgiving people won't remove any part of body, not even your hair, all it does is to bring a graceful feeling of light and love to you and that person that hurt You.
