I have no purpose in this life, I only have the instinct to survive, even though now my heart is filled with emptiness, but I never want to disappear. At first humans are very weak, which is why humans are afraid to be alone. They will try to achieve their goals and protect people who are very valuable in their lives. Humans cannot resist the speed of time. Even though sometimes it often bumps into reality, time will continue to run. Regardless of how much suffering I get, time will continue to pass.
I never understood the meaning of life. An endless search made me very tired. The voice that called me from behind the night's silence, blew up my anger. As if unable to hug my body that was almost frozen. I was trapped in silence. Falling together with time. Slammed towards the front. The doors of my dreams are no longer visible. Fading between expectations. I ask the moon why is there a drop of grief? Until I always look for reasons to disappear. As if there is no place for me in this world. Awaken me to the bitter reality. Release my anxiety and doubt.
Life is the greatest gift that God gives to every human being. There is no one in this world who does not want life, even though it is very difficult to live it. Not a few of them fought against fate and made their own choices. Trying to change things for the better than before. Because the past is sometimes very painful. As if time was a silent witness to a series of human tragedies and drowned with sorrow.

The long journey we will take may be very steep. But you keep looking at me with sincerity. Until your helping hand makes me very meaningful. Sometimes the smile appears only to comfort me. Take me out of the darkness of my heart. Look at me to get out of this coolness. And you keep looking at me. The glow of the incandescent light adorns the darkness of the park. We sit on a bench that is almost old. Then you tell me feelingfully. Teaches me about the meaning of the beauty of life. And for the umpteenth time, you convinced me that life is very valuable. I really want to pass time and space with you. Eliminate doubts in the heart for our purposes. Get to know the future even though the pain continues to greet. You present a new life without a gap for me to complain. You come with a determination and trust. I don't know how much longer I have to write and play with words, to explain about you.
Until I realize your true self. I remembered when you always shouted. You're like losing your way, so you can't go back home. You can only cry asking for help. But your tears can never be delivered. I will not let you say you are alone with such a sad face. When your heart was shaken, yesterday's rain seeps flowed over your scar like erasing all the past. Every time you complain to me, I can't do anything. The hope we used to keep in the boat, may not be anchored.
You always ask me where to go home. Even though I hugged you many times, you still asked. Your determination is just to act strong, which makes the surface of the water ripples. Even though your heart is so fragile, you still try to fight the pain. I can feel your pain, your heartbeat is so clearly heard. Even though, they nicknamed you a liar. And try to hurt you by making fun of them. Even though this world doesn't believe you. And trying to stab you with thorns, I will continue to be by your side. Bear your loneliness and loneliness together. And everything that makes me perfect is now offered to you. Don't bear your own burden and pain! Because I am your place again.
Do you remember when we together found many valuable things? When you asked me, "What can fill the hole in my heart?" At that time you were like being covered in darkness and almost swallowed by despair. Then I just replied, "I am the one who will fill the hole in your heart." Instantly you fell silent and looked at me with confidence. I saw you holding back the tears. But you try to laugh. Don't worry, you're not alone. We still look at the same sky. Get up again, keep rising again and again. Close your injured hand and focus your mind and strength. Until it's time we can achieve that dream together.
He is Tiara. A woman who has been with me. Always by my side. In any case. He always made me a cup of warm coffee when I was writing. He never gets tired of listening to my story. And he always supports me, for what I do. He was the first person to be my back when I was sad. He is everything to me.
I remember our conversation in the middle of the night. At that time I was working on a lot of my work. But he still accompanied me and tried to comfort me. His smile made my mind calm and covered in peace.
"Tiara, I don't know what will happen in the future. I don't know what the story of my life will end, sometimes I'm afraid to think about it. But, I'm always sure something good will come with us. "
Tiara smiled and held me tight that night. As if there is no more worry in my heart. For too long I wandered away looking for this warmth. Adventure through the bush, until my body was pierced by a thousand sorrowful thorns. But, thanks to the presence of Tiara, I understand why I have to stay alive. Because humans always try to protect the most valuable person in his life. Sacrifice for him and fight for his happiness.
Tiara once told me that maybe I fought too long with feelings of loneliness, loneliness and hatred. I also realized that. Something bad in the past will always be fixed. However, we must be able to reflect on the past, so that we learn something. Tiara taught me to be strong in dealing with a cruel world, and ridicule those who doubted my dreams. And that's when Tiara came to me. To inform you that there is still a hope gap ahead.
I remembered that Tiara once told me about the meaning of life.
"You know, humans are weird. Today they reach out and protect each other, but the next day, they hate and betray each other. Then they will receive suffering and pain. Humans shed tears and laughed for no apparent reason. They struggle to find the meaning of life's happiness. They forget that their duty to live is to discover the secrets of the heavens, the earth, and what is in them. They ran too far from their identity. They go through hard times with pride. They are so naive to accept the bitter reality. The happiness pursued doesn't always look perfect. Because perfection is when humans can accept and understand each other. "
I believe that what Tiara thinks is a very deep and worthy thought. But, is that also a warning for me? I was curious about Tiara's intention to say that. I want to make sure.
"Tiara, sorry. I want to ask something. In the past ... you said that the future of humanity is death. And there is no need to fear about the future. It's just how we can cover it. By the way ..., what does that mean? "I asked Tiara.
"It is true. Humans always hold the principle. Humans who live without principles will only be milled by time. He will be uprooted and fragile, have no place in this world. Not part of an event. The longer you live, you will only feel emptiness and emptiness. You will understand why humans always end up regretfully. Humans always try to give priority to the people they love, even though they have to bear the burden of losing them. Try to think, everything we hold will definitely disappear and leave. In the end we will be left behind. We will only get memories. And those memories are very painful. How hard you love someone, that person will leave or you go first. Love will only teach you about pain and hatred. Many things that will never be unexpected approach us every second. And ... not a few of us run away ... away from that reality. As if we already know if we are only faced with uncertainty. Therefore, you must be able to look ahead. Many things in this world that humans cannot see. Because they decide to stop and give up before they reach their destination. Our future as humans is death, what else to be proud of? You will understand ... if you begin to contemplate that all this time ... you are under the same sky as me. And you have to be able to see around you. Not a few events and events that deserve reflection. You will learn from some of them, as whole people. Because all this time ... I've never found a human! "

When I heard that, I was very shocked. What exactly does Tiara want to convey to me? Lately he's acting weird. I haven't had the chance to take the point of our conversation that night.
"Tiara, are you okay?" I asked, worried about the situation.
"Well ... I'm fine. Sorry ... I'm too carried away by emotion. I ... I just want you to understand. If ... your writing about life is still not enough. To be able to describe it perfectly, you must truly understand the suffering of others. You can't see it from one side only. Everyone is born with a different perspective. You must be able to be in their position. Because humans will be able to understand each other, if they can feel the same suffering. "
I see. "I paused.
I am a novelist. I don't know how long I didn't leave the house. Sometimes I feel dizzy from thinking about my novel. I write about various things. I prefer to talk about life and humans. I think that's a very interesting topic. Lately rain often falls. But I like the sound of rain. As if taking me to another world. The world is so comfortable.
"Tuuuuuuut!" The bell sounded. It's not unusual for guests to come to my house. I rushed open the door. It turns out my friend Frash. Frash comes with snacks along with beer. We haven't talked for a long time. I let Frash enter. We talked a lot. Frash is my friend who knows best about my busy writing novels. He is also very supportive of me.
"What is your novel?" Asked Frash.
"Un ... well that's how it is. I still ... write it, and add a few little things. "
"Good. Hopefully you will quickly publish it. "Said Frash.
"Well ... after all, I just received input from Tiara."
Frash was stunned to see me.
"Who is the Tiara?" Asked Frash.
"What do you mean by Frash? Tiara, he's my lover. He always comes every night making me food, and ... and you've also met him. At that time, the three of us had dinner together. "I told Frash.
"Friend ... I don't know who knows Tiara? You always confine yourself at home to write right? Have you never met anyone besides me? Are you okay?"
What is this? Why? What happened? Why doesn't Frash recognize Tiara?
"Frash hear! I talk to him every night. He ... he told me about many things. About my writing. About everything! Tiara also knows you! I often tell him about you, you ... "Frash cut my talk.
"Enough! Friend ... Tiara never existed. Maybe he's just hallucinating you! You ... you shut yourself up too long! The tiara has no friends! Stop thinking about it! "
"So ... who have I been talking to?" I asked Frash.
"Maybe you really spoke to Tiara, but the Tiara in your imagination. A character you make. I don't know, but maybe ... all this time you actually did everything alone. And you ... are too comfortable with your delusional world. "
The next night, I got an e-mail shipment. From someone without a subject. Then I read it.
"For a writer who never gives up,
I'm Tiara. Sorry, just this time I told you. Actually I'm not from your world. I come from another dimension, from a different time line. Our world was originally different. Until I get a mission to come to your world to close an open portal. It took a long time, until I met you at the cafe. I have never found anyone like you, and I began to feel something strange at the time. But I can't forget my mission. I then rushed to finish it. I don't have time to tell you. Because I'm sure you won't believe it. After I return to my world, my existence in your world will disappear. People won't remember my existence. But, that doesn't apply to someone who has a very close relationship with me, that is you. Because we have been connected in a bond called love. I beg you, forget me. Let's just say I never existed. Don't think of me again. And stop searching for me. We are indeed in a world that is based, but we are still living by holding each other's principles. Fight! Don't sleep too late, and don't drink too much coffee. You must keep trying to become the greatest writer. I always pray for you in a world where you never existed. Tiara."
Now we live separately. I no longer have the power to understand the sky that is almost crying. If you still won't change, I don't need you anymore. Even so, if I lose more than this, will I be able to see you again? How much more suffering should I go through to meet you once more? I always look for your figure somewhere. Across the house, in the backyard. Even though I know you can't be there. If my wish could be fulfilled, I would like to hurry to your side now. There won't be anything I can't do. I'll bet everything and hold you tight.
In the end I always look somewhere, looking for your smile. At the crossroads, while waiting for the bus to pass. Even though I know you can't be there. If life can be repeated again, I want to be by your side always. I don't want anything, because ... there's nothing more important than you.
For the umpteenth time, this feeling of loneliness is increasing. I like the wind that blows here. There is no meaningful sparkle. We have laughed together but these times have disappeared. Even though I can't say it perfectly, I still hope to look strong from now on. Look up and look at the future.