Good evening everyone, and welcome to the Comedy Open Mic COMmunity. My pseudonym is Hugh Telmi, and tonight I'd like to take a bit of time to tell you all about this COMmunity that I love.The echos in this space have become louder than the laughter. The nice thing about performing to an empty room is that there's no pressure to do well. The bad thing about it is that performing without an audience is like masturbating without porn. Do I think I'm funny enough to bring a large audience to the COMmunity? No. Do I think I'm funny enough to bring the comedians back to the COMmunity? No. I do have a metric shitload of Ecency points to spend promoting the COMmunity, and myself, shamelessly. In fact, this post used to be titled:
Like someone dropped a bomb in here...
...AND...
The Comedy Open Mic COMmunity is the Best Place on Hive!!!
...but I decided that isn't going to bring much attention here when I promote into everyone's Ecency feed for a week.
I workshopped some better titles for a while before landing on what you see above. Discarded titles include such gems as:
COMmunity is giving away free Bitcoin!!!
Check out Comedy Open Mic COMmunity! Nudes in profile!
Titties and Beer
I like being the center of attention, but you guys and gals need to be able to function without me. I thought it would be easy for you, since there are (or were) so many funny and talented folks posting their laughs for likes. I know some of you are still around, so I'm going to start name-dropping...
@kingsley, my friend and brother, you deserve a medal for keeping the hope and the rebellion alive. You chose an apt name... you are the King- of this community, and you -Sley with every post. I want you and everyone in this COMmunity to hear this loud and clear... As strange as it sounds, we must all try to be a bit more like @kingsley!
@princessbusayo, I see you are still active on Hive, but in a much more serious way. I hope we are not one of the negative influences you have cut yourself off from! Teaching is important, but so is comedy! Bless us again with your wit and wisdom!
@blanchy has continued to soldier away here in the COMmunity, much to the delight of lovers of satire. If there is any way I could persuade you to switch of the socc-ball for an extra 15 minutes a week to harass people here, please let me know.
@adedoyin-g is not only still posting occasionally, but is still posting about work and politics! You're already so close to the jokes, why not take that step back over here to the funny side?
@mrenglish is also still active on Hive, but maybe lost his sense of humor? Come on back to the COMmunity, brother! We need laughs more than insights!
@merit.ahama is another one who still has plenty to say, just not here in the COMmunity. You have too much talent to be wasting it on serious topics, let your heart lead you back to the COMmunity where you truly belong!
@ayesha-malik teased us with a post earlier this year, after a long absence. Join me in encouraging her to bring her talents for laughs back in to this space where I'm sure we all miss her terribly.
@diikaan is another one that seems to have lost his sense of humor. My brother, take an extra cup of coffee, pull your pen out the ink well, and stop by here with some jokes!
A moment of silence for our missing brothers and sisters. @nelson-george seems to have disappeared from Hive. I hope that his absence is simply because he's buried in titties somewhere. @crsarmy7 has likewise gone dark, and I likewise hope he's still busy with the girl from the elevator.@didijames went dark shortly after posting about rising crime... let's all hope that he is safe! @omosefe likewise disappeared, though it seems more likely she's throwing her time at a new job than romance. If you see our tech sis, or any of these missing members out in the wild, invite them to come on back!
I see a new face here and there. @mitch18 took a crack at it, and left us with a nice funny story. @improv left a funny thought about the TikTok ban in the US. @jesus-son left us a nice funny post about wet dreams, and @mimistories delighted us with a good bit about the necessity of gossip and hate.
You part timers need to understand, once you step in here slinging jokes, we expect you to come back and give us more. We haven't shown it very well lately, but it is true. Of course, we don't expect it in a creepy, stalker way (don't want to scare off any possible newcomers), more like the way a toddler might expect you to make them lunch. We're more like strays than stalkers... if you feed us once, we're going to follow you with those puppy eyes until we get another handout.
Do you hear that, @dandays and @corvidae? You are both absolutely hilarious, and this is where many of your posts belong. We are not as scary as we seem. Just because the club is in a white van with no windows doesn't mean it's dangerous. Come on in, we have candy!
C'mon gang, we aren't just going to let our club be taken over by the likes of @beetoons and @tdvtv are we? At the very least, we should demand they post something funny in here!
Seriously folks, we need to grab our balls (or ovaries) and make a stand! Don't let the spammers drown us in banality, strike out with your words and fight for your right to not be taken seriously!
Join us in our fight to save our beloved COMmunity! I promise you'll be showered with praise, upvotes, tips, contest rewards, gold, bitcoin, rain, sun, and God's grace if you take up our righteous cause!
