Honestly, I don’t like it when girls think because you’re dating them; they can pick any part of your life and torment it.
FIONA CAME OVER LAST NIGHT
(I was just enjoying the groove from Burna Boy’s new album, trying to get over the man United grief when I heard a hard knock. I walked to the door and…)
Me: hey babe, why didn’t you call? I wasn’t expecting you
Fiona: in my boyfriend’s house?🤨( she's even Raising eyebrows for me)
Me: oh sorry na… you too ginger😏
Fiona: eh na, am I not your baby? I’m supposed to ginger you. Like that rema’s song “baby you de ginger me” (trying to sing "jollof on the jet") that rema can sing eh, I’m even crushing on him
Me: (trying to be calming down) first of all, you have a bad voice, secondly, this is not the kind of ginger he meant, and thirdly, I’m sure you didn’t come here to talk about “your crush”😒
Fiona: whats your own sef… small thing youll become jealous
Me: (tired of calming down) Fiona…🙄
Fiona: calm down jhor.. I missed you😊😊
Me: eeeeeeh🙈
Fiona: look at you (pushed me and majestically walked inside, straight into the kitchen. I followed, but stopped where I dropped my headset on the couch)
Fiona: why didn’t you cook? (Shouting from inside the kitchen)
Me: when have I ever cooked?
Fiona: lazy ass.
(Soon, to cut long story short, she was done with fixing dinner of pounded yam and eghusi soup garnished with bitterleaf and a stampede of okporoko with a touch of beef. My weakness 😖😖
We ate, did the necessary things and fell asleep.
I woke up this morning, went for workout only to return and see fiona inside my Tommy Hilfiger boxers)
Me: (Refusing to believe what my mind was telling me) ah babe, you have this boxer too?😯
Fiona: which boxer? Stop jhor!
Me: stop what? I’m just commending you na, because its quite expensive. Maybe yours is the fake one, because I bought mine, 2 for 15k
Fiona: 😂😂😂😂
Me: (in my head) why is this one laughing? Abi they cheated me? 🙄🙄😏
Fiona: (completed her laughing marathon) I don’t have it sha. I saw it in your wardrobe
Me: (refusing to believe) which wardrobe? 😮😮
Fiona: the one In your room na
Me: (about to start crying) boxer that I bought 7.5k?😟 my church boxer!🤧🤧
If not that they swear for you in your village, how can you wear boxer that you saw tied inside nylon and tied inside another nylon after five other nylons?, you didn’t even think it was juju. 🤦😫
This girl is still here laughing.😡
Or should I box her because of the boxer? 🤔
I’m still in pains 😫😭
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From @obrisgold1