When I was a kid, my grandma and grandpa were two of my favorite people in the world. I can remember being little and my grandparents taking me to get my first puppy. They let my sister and I pick out two little white dogs which we named Rocky and Schatzi.
I showed a lot of interest in computers when I was little, but we were very poor and there was no way that we could afford one. My grandma Lucy (pictured) worked at K-Mart in the cafeteria almost her entire life. She managed to buy an Atari 800xl on a blue light special which she gave to me for my 7th birthday. It was easily the best gift that anyone has ever given to me.
My step-father was in the military at the time, so we were constantly traveling around. I don't even think that I got to thank my grandma for that amazing gift. It is something that I regret to this day. I am pretty sure that she knew how much I loved it, but I don't think she has any idea how much it would end up changing my life moving forward.
Years went by and I ended up living all over the place. I thought about my grandmother often but for some reason I hardly ever talked to her. She would ask my mom about me and my siblings but we just really fell out of contact. Before I knew it, decades had passed. I remember one time I was visiting my mom and she had grandma on the phone. I went ahead and had a little chat with her.
After speaking with her for a few minutes, I began to realize that she could hardly tell who I was. I hadn't been around for so long and dementia had taken hold of her. Immediately afterward I sat down on the couch and the gravity of my mistakes started to weigh on me. She was in my thoughts all the time, and I continually told my friends stories about my wonderful grandparents but I hadn't gone to see them or talked to them for a lifetime.
Still to this day I just don't understand why I never picked up the phone or went to visit my grandmother. My mother had a bad relationship with her mom because of an abusive father when she was a kid. I think that she kind of held a grudge for most of her life and this sort of passed on to us kids subconsciously as she talked about it often. But when I look back, grandma was just such a sweet lady and never meant any harm to anyone. It wasn't her fault how her husband behaved, and in fact she divorced him when she realized that he was abusing my mom.
A few months later I was down in Florida and I got a call from my mom that grandma was in the hospice and didn't have much time left. Everyone in the family got up to Dayton as quickly as possible and we all met up at the hospice. All of the photos in this post were taken on that day, two weeks before she passed away.
When I look back at these pictures, I get a bittersweet feeling. For one, I am very glad that I got to see her before she died. On the other hand, it makes me sick to my stomach that we all waited until she was completely gone mentally, and almost gone physically to finally go to visit her.
The whole time we were there she was gazing around the room aimlessly talking about a 'tree wall' that didn't exist. She would break out crying, followed by completely silence as if she was never crying. Then she would smile, followed by a look of confusion. I really don't even know if she knew that we were there. The whole thing nearly brought me to tears.
This all happened a few years ago and it profoundly changed the way that I interact with my loved ones. I know that I can never change all of those years that I didn't spend with my grandma. But I can change how I behave moving forward. Not long after this, I got in contact with my 87 year old great aunt who I haven't seen since I was a little kid. It turns out that she always wanted to have me in her life but didn't want to bother me. Since then, we have become very close! I try to call her and visit her as much as possible and we always have a great time together.
Of course now I am regretting all of the time lost with her as well, but at least I can spend some time with her now. I think that the point that I'm making with this post is pretty clear, but please try to take the time out of your life to maintain connections with the people that you love.
You may find that you spend an awful lot of time thinking about that person and perhaps even talking about them - but hardly ever actually interacting with them. Don't make my same mistake! You will really miss out.
