It's a very sensible topic even for me, giving out I have history in family that had/have problems too. Fortunately no events yet, but I know I should always be alert and working on it. Always onwards... the past can't be changed (yet). Only the future.

Always onwards - I absolutely agree. Currently, some of my family members are stuck in zombie mode - others, experiencing the entire spectrum of emotions on almost an hourly basis.

As for me, I've tried my hardest to stay focused on the task I set out for - to find the truth. Many people are looking to me to find it; I've spent the entire past 3+ weeks reading every single notebook, text message, email, anything I can find that can give us insight into her state of mind and what she was thinking, feeling, experiencing before she chose to end her suffering.

It's been the most painful thing I've ever endured by far, having to go through my sisters entire private life - and honestly, it feels wrong - but at the same time, we all just want answers. There were no signs, signals, cries for help, NOTHING, towards any family or close friends. Every single person in our community has just been absolutely blown away and shocked by this tragedy.

For now, yes, it has consumed nearly all of my time here, but I also do still make sure to be there for my family, and not that I've adopted her dog, it's added another massive change to my life.

However, adopting Axel has been the best decision I've ever made - this poor boy literally witnessed EVERYTHING, and he is grieving horribly right now. He's already attached himself to me like glue; I'm his hooman, and honestly, he's been my rock, too.

He's brought structure back to my life; I'm up at the same time every single day now. He's gotten me back out there and constantly physically active, so I'm in way better shape physically than I was even a month ago (not that I've ever even been remotely close to overweight, but working from home, I got used to being lazy).

He's also brought immense and unconditional love at a time where everyone's heart, including his own, is shattered; he's the most healing and positive part of all of this (besides the foundation we are working on).

I still continue to work, and I'm actually just about to move us both out of my mom's place (I basically immediately left my apartment in a hurry and all my things there to fly here for this, and still am paying rent there) - I'm about to snatch up a camper/RV and do the whole RV life thing for a bit until the housing market takes a hit, and then I'll snatch up a property or two back home and turn them into rentals - but then I'll also always have a place to stay when I come to visit family.

Every coin has two sides. Which side you choose to view, is up to you. For me, I'm going to make this absolutely devastating situation, and use it to improve not only my own life, but the lives of everyone around me and as many others as I possibly can.

I've actually started up a little PC/electronics repair gig again, which I used to do when I grew up here, and surprisingly I've already gotten multiple jobs come in - which is both keeping me busy, and putting some extra $ in my pocket for our new home.

One day at a time; that's all we can do.