(The audio to these rants is posted at 4:20 EST on Substack. Or you can read it here.)
Sabado Grande Mi gente. Welcome to Another Long-ass weekend above ground. Are you devoted enough to check into this channel, while you’re on Holiday? If so, you’ve got it bad. Turn it off and enjoy yourself. We’ll be here when you get back. No extra charge.
We stumbled across this account in the Stacks. The read is 25% sincerity, 60% hustler, and 15% miscellaneous. To use that standard AI disclaimer, “this isn’t judgment, it’s the vibe.” As we say in the hood, “game knows game.” And that’s the part we appreciate. We’ve seen the game amongst our peers for years and years. There’s a bit of self-delusion. There has to be. Otherwise the structure collapses. Plus, the herd has it coming.
Brotherman knows his audience and he knows the buttons to push. To lure them into his cabin.
We’re lurking, because somewhere at the intersection of game and sincerity, is where we cross. Your humble vagabond has not mastered, or even come close to the talent of stroking the guilt vibes of sheeple, while fleecing the herd and compelling them to thank you for it. It’s like I’m watching a Michael Jai White movie. You know the one.
In what’s become a massive, uncatalogued archive, The Full Metal Ox lamented not having the foresight to document, dramatize, serialize, commercialize and moneytize our awakening journey. Maybe it’s not too late. Having begun at birth (prologue), as all corporeal journeys do, we can Chapter One our story with a Near Death Experience in 1982. “Death Comes Calling,” and out of sheer will, we fought it off. We were enlisted at the time. Say no more. It’s still a burden to recount, but at least we’re not in the VA system. We fought off Death. We can fight off Insanity too. But sometimes, however, Insanity likes to dance.
It’s not too late though. We are out of the muck, mud and mire, but we still have some issues to over come. It’s coming though.
“Converting guilt & pity into cold hard cash, for Dummies.” New York Times Best Seller, and popular podcast, starring Yours Truly. I can see it now. I’ll have my own unique incense fragrance. A deck of tarot cards, featuring my trademarked and copy righted Emindcipation characters and interpretations. Man, it will be the 1980s all over again.
“The complete guide to Monkey Bars Yoga.”
Selfie-Help Documentaries. “How to cure yourself from anxiety and diseases that don’t exist, through selfie videos.” I can already smell the digital cash invading my nostrils.
I’ll become a quasi-regular, on the internet. Like Tim Conway did with the Carol Burnett Show, and Steve Martin did on Saturday Night Live, I’ll be the garrulous guru on the streaming equivalent of the Oprah Winfrey Show. Fan favorite, loquacious life-coach, telling funny self-deprecating stories about military breakdowns, photo labs, Djing at bars, and scribbling out comic strips, just to keep me awake on the night shift. And how I got here. From there.
All this will be very fascinating to the audience, because damn near everything I’ve done to earn my daily bread is already obsolete. No more mixing photography chemicals and no more adjusting carburetors to the tune of humming 8 cylinder high performance gas guzzlers, with bench seats, no seat belts and a hump in the middle of the vehicle. Not to mention the big ass steering wheel that’s more difficult to operate than the emergency exit of a Boeing 737 Max.
I can see it now. The next bogus billionaire with a target on his back, and 20% of the US Congress in his pocket, making plans for Nigel.
When all I ever really wanted was 1,001, dollar-a-day, authentic human sponsors, so that I could set up my little private podcast, for those subscribers, and spend the three decades between the seventh floor and the century, in a decent apartment with a view, and maybe a pool, and a decent gym. And maybe a rooftop cafe, that will let me play music, (probably not actual records), one Friday a month. And stream it live. “Hey hell, I paid the price.” Is that asking too much?
Enjoy your weekend fam.
Stay sane, stay strong, stay safe, stay savvy, stay serene, stay sovereign, stay subscribed.
PEACE.
